Blooming Hearts

Reaching into the black of my messy heart,
Steady light You bring.
Untangling my string of cracked and broken lights
woven into my inner being,
You draw me gently to my knees.

Hands of healing touch the depths,
In shock, I raise my eyes and stand once more.
Sparking Truth to flow through my veins. 

Unpleasant at first, a cool wind blows,
my clothes ruffle and skin grows colder,
And yet, 
it is here I wish to stand.

A beautiful door into my heart unlocking at the sound of my Father's voice 

blowing His love and promises through this strong and steady wind.

Resetting my eyes, 
Renewing my vision, Cleansing me of glances over my shoulder,
Calming desperate and frantic eyes searching the horizon,
Simply waiting for my past to crash into the present.

I pray to You,
Resurrect my soul to be wholly and truly Yours, 
I am not my own.
Halt any word to come across these lips that does not bring life, 
Press pause in the inner depths of my heart when I attempt to impress this world or a single person in it other than You.

Worthy, You are.
Weed out the vines,
Bloom in the inner recesses of my heart so I may grow up into You,
A woman rooted and resting in the beauty of Truth.

In every moment, every pain, every trial, every moment of everyday He is constant and full.  With Jesus, we have one of the most beautiful opportunities to worship, to adore, and to know the Savior of this world and resurrector of our hearts.

And do you know what results from having a deep relationship with a God of fullness? Blooming hearts of fiery beauty for our King.

For the majority of my life, I suffered from self-confidence issues and it was only through the healing and love of Christ that He began to light my path out of that.  But with the beautiful redemption at work within me, Satan has also tried to attack this new growth every chance he gets.

Lately, I have been faced with a nice long list of lies that Satan has attempted to lug into my present.  And just as I have in the past, I initially chose to buy into them. I believed for a moment that these closed doors were my fault. I believed that these were a result of me stepping outside of God's will and yet sitting here, I am beginning to process much more of the "why" hanging over so many of life's situations over the past three years.

I am writing this with a smile on my face because the power of Christ wins...every single time. The fierce love and devotion He has for you and for me is so much higher, deeper, and wider than we will ever be able to comprehend in this lifetime.

I am learning so much about what it means to walk alongside Jesus in every moment and situation.  Jesus is blooming within my heart and changing me from the inside out to realize, recognize, and highlight what He needs me to see.  Unveiling more and more of the woman of elegance, grace, wisdom, trust, and patience, He is calling me to be, I know to follow.

The only thing in this moment and season of my life that I am called to be is myself for in doing that I am walking in the truth of who He is.
"Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom of the secret heart." 
-Psalm 51:8

I am not called "prove my faith" or be "spiritual enough" for any person in this life other than the person of Christ. Doing this, I hinder the pure and genuine love of Christ dying to break out of my heart to be known to those He is placing all around me.

Allowing Christ to unshackle the chains of anxiety, worry, and fear is to let Him in to change you.  Lifting the heaviness off of your vision, you are able to see with clarity that every single day He is enabling you to step forward into the restoration and renewal of your soul.

Bloom.

This is the very word that sparks passion in my soul for this chapter of my life as a sophomore here at Hope College. I am discovering the beauty of living my every day to be immersed in who He is so that I may walk in love and grow up deeper into Him. 

Reading this I hope and pray you find the encouragement to let Him grow you in whatever season you are in. There is no greater joy than to know Jesus and to be known by Him.  With eyes ahead and not behind, press on towards the upward call of Christ. There is nothing more beautiful than falling in step with the One who will redeem even the most broken of souls to be made whole in His love.

"Just keep believing,
you’ll see a new season soon
You’re turning into something amazing.." 
-Moriah Peters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPeudF7tcD8

"Unclench your fists, unlock your knees, and also the door to your heart, take a deep breath, and begin to swim. Begin to let the waves do their work in you." 

-Shauna Niequist

How

And how can they know if we remain unchanged?
How will they see and understand the depth of Your love if outrageous love does not spill out of our heart, mind, and soul?
How will they believe You are our treasure if we live as though you are merely an adornment for our lives and not our all-consuming fire?
How will the hope of Your message touch their hearts in the profoundest of ways if it remains bottled up?

We must proclaim not merely speak,
We must rise to praise You not merely sing
We must step towards Your refining flame not back away in fear of what it might bring,
We must seek You fiercely to pulse through our veins
We must pray for Love's embrace to guide those who stumble,
We must joyfully abound in your grace one moment to the next not merely move

Jesus, you do not need us but You choose to reflect Your fire, Your desperation, Your compassion, Your grace through each of our candle flames.

Burn in us so brilliantly, so brightly, so passionately that it will be evident all else pales in comparison in light of Your face turned upon us on this day.

First

2 Corinthians 8:5
"...and this, not as they expected, but they gave themselves first to the Lord and then by the will of God to others."

We must spend more time seeking the approval of the King than the approval of those around us.
We must soak in the richness of His unfathomable love so that we don't merely pour out of our limited strength, but overflow with His living waters.
We must learn that it is not us that this world needs, but the One who resides within our hearts.
We must see that acceptance and grace is the bridge for His love to connect the two ends
We must kneel down before the only One who can lift our face and fill our hearts with the burning light  of passion and hope.

It is not what is expected, but it is the only way you can thrive and deepen the most important relationship you will ever have--by being reconciled to the Healer who will then radically alter your heart to be reconciled to a broken world.

Mighty

Tearing open the heavens,
Mercy falling down,
On my knees,
Ragged edges stretch their bounds,
Giving way to this rush of grace

Gentle touch of wholeness
Knitting my loose ends,
Weaving me into Your flesh

Immobile and fixed on the Rock
Shaking hands in surrender,

Mighty to save,
in my frailties You are Lord.