Dimming the lights, it was time for a few moments of silence.
"If now is the time you are in need of a rescue, come to God with it."
And with that a few thousand people bowed their heads in prayer at a Christmas service in 2012 and I was swept backwards. Squeezing my eyes shut with tears forming in my eyes, I was swept back to my rescue moment. July of 2011 on my last retreat, surrounded by a very similar darkened auditorium, my life was about to dramatically change.
It was time to release my clenched fists.
I knew in my heart that smiling through the deep pain within me would not heal me. It might fool people or myself but I knew even deeper within my heart that I was crying out to be rescued although I had been too prideful to admit it. Jesus was held at the most comfortable of distances, close enough that I could claim the label, but far enough away that my heart remained locked away and sealed for me to clumsily stitch up as I moved through my days seamlessly. I claimed His saving yet I had continually tried to paddle with arms flailing in the opposite direction.
I knew I needed a change but little did I know the Answer had been standing beside me all along. The King of Kings, God of angel armies, Emmanuel, and my Savior had been there a long. Patiently waiting and watching over me from the moment that I entered this world--He longed to rescue me from the darkness and utter emptiness apart from His light. He didn't want my money, my time on Sunday, for me to sell everything to the poor, or for me to have perfect attendance at youth group...He wanted my heart. And to give a heart would mean surrender of control...something most of us including myself are not fond of.
But this was where I found myself on that retreat two months before I would step onto Hope College as a freshman. Resistant to change but the walls were closing in. The weight of it all was suffocating to any scrap of belief I might have had in myself. I couldn't believe myself worthy of having any type of significance or that I could belong somewhere.
Yet isn't that the beauty of the gospel? Isn't this the magnified hope in the redemption we have received as children of the living God? Mere dust, unworthy, and ragged but despite all this our God, in His fierce and unfathomable love, chooses to reach down into the depths of humanity and blow His life into us. Through His Son, Jesus Christ, we are now alive in Christ taking on His new life and adopted as sons and daughters to receive the eternal inheritance of His Kingdom (Ephesians 1:5).
Now on December 21st I slowly opened my eyes, the stage lights flooding my vision. Bill Hybel's words of the present echoed in my heart as he spoke.
"I'll say this again, who in this room is in need of a Divine rescue? There is no depth He cannot reach down and pull you from."
I was in need of a Divine rescue on that night two years ago.
On that retreat, my heart cry echoed through the silence into the heavens and I believe it was then that my world began to change. From the inside out, God began to transform, renew, and heal me through a personal relationship with the Savior. And I can tell you life has truly never been the same since.
My life at 19 years old is full and rich with wonderful people, a great family, and a good education, but above all of this stands the most important and highly cherished relationship with my Savior. Living and active, He is. Constantly teaching, refining, revealing, and touching the depths of my heart with grace, mercy, and love--I will forever be changed. Seeking Him has revealed areas of who He is that continually blow my mind and press me to go deeper. The joy of knowing Christ fills my heart and my eyes with the radiant hope of His name. Talking about Him and spreading His glory has brought soul-filling joy inexpressible.
After all, after this type of a rescue how could I stay silent about this?
"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God." -Psalm 40:2
He put a song of hope in my lungs too desperately beautiful and true to remain within the corridors of my own heart.
It's not merely for me. My life is about making Him known to everyone around me. It's about letting out a song of praise and thankfulness for my Divine rescuer and hero who has changed my life in every way and is deserving of my praise.
It is about proclaiming the truth that there is a God whose love for you is as fierce as the grace. He died to free you from living this life for yourself or even for the sake of other people. Your life is meant to be His for it is placing your trust in Him where the world will be touched by the lasting impact so many of you long to make.
It is about preaching the truth that our God is alive. He died 2000 years ago but is now seated at the right hand of the Father and the reality of this truth changes everything for you, for me, and for this world.
It is about revealing to this generation that they have something to live for!!! You have purpose beyond who you'll date next, your test grade, what party you can attend next, or your popularity and it is in your pursuit of Christ.
I don't know who you are. You may be a random blogger, a Facebook friend I haven't spoken to in five years, or you may be someone I know quite well. Whoever you are, I want you to know how dearly you are loved, how much you are cherished, how much you are worth in the sight of our God. I believe that you are reading these words for a reason and I pray you take them to heart.
John Piper writes these words in "Don't Waste Your Life":
"Oh who will get in their face and give them something to live for..?"
I am not going to get in your face but lovingly step into your path and interrupt your thoughts for a moment.
When the tally of your days is up and all is said and done---what did you live for? Did you find the meaning of your life or why you're here? Did you invest your heart in the eternal and unshakable Kingdom of God and the relationship you were designed for? Did you spend your life giving people the life-changing eternal gift of Christ? Did you allow doubts and pride to block you from surrendering to a beautiful rescue ?
You get one shot at life.
Not two, not three, not four...but one. That means spending it on what will inevitably pass away and living in unbelief of our reigning God would be an incredible tragedy beyond compare. Joan of Arc writes, "One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying."
Breathe and meditate upon these truths:
You were born to behold glory.
You were born for a fierce Kingdom purpose.
Your voice has the potential to carry the weight of the King.
You were born to be adopted in a family you belong in.
You were made to walk with Him, to be loved by the Creator.
You were born to be loved.
You were created with a Divine plan in mind--to be rescued and swept into the epic story God is already telling. To be brought to the knowledge of the most breathtaking and astounding love found in Christ alone that transforms and makes you into the symbol of Love the world is waiting for.
True freedom lies in surrender.
It lies in surrendering that you can do this life on your own, surrendering a need to please everyone around you, surrendering societal expectations, and above all, surrendering to Christ.
I write these words to you today knowing full well that it is not easy.
It is not easy to cast aside the opinion of the world, your friends, your classmates, and even that inner voice that tells you this is too good to be true. I know also that I need to get the point across that we are ALL in need of a Divine Rescue but beyond that, we need Christ to continue saving us from slipping, we need Christ's continue renewal and healing, and we need His strength to continue this journey of life.
The beautiful truth and reality is that a Divine rescue is a call away. He stands ready and waiting, unchanging and eternal, with arms open to receive you, His beloved child that He longs to know.
If you feel He has deserted you or left you to fight this life alone, I assure you He is right by your side. Not for one moment has He forgotten or left you to fight this life on your own. Sometimes those seasons are to shape you and to turn you on your heel straight into His arms. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD0cvWImVjA "Not for a moment" by Meredith Andrews)
God's love is so incomprehensibly vast and deep. If you doubt whether or not He cares for you look at the lengths He went to in order to send us our Savior.
He chose to grant you the choice to be free in love. To choose a Divine rescue or the way of the world is yours to make, Love will come at your call.
Romans 10:13: "For all who call on the name of the Lord will be saved."
I firmly believe God may be calling each of you into His arms whispering your name with a plan more breathtaking than you can dare to imagine. It's time to silence the world and your own doubts, He is speaking.
"...you whom I took from the ends of the earth, and called from its farthest corners, saying to you, "You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off"; fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:9-10
(Baptism day August 2010-).
"On the day I called You answered me and the hope in my soul increased.."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8-9uOwDObM "You are more" by Hillsong
"Love came down and rescued me. Love came down and set me free. I am Yours, I am forever Yours." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShxntTzMXtU "Love Came Down" by Kari Jobe.
