Rest and Revival

"In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength..." -Isaiah 30:15

Quietness, trust, stillness, peace, rest.

How simple these concepts are but I can lose a grip on them all too easily (especially being Type-A ;)

This break has been one of revelations and restoration that He knew my soul needed. I felt the need to write a few of them down and God had other plans as I sit here typing three hours later...May they shed a light for you. 

Break revelations:  

Subconsciously on a deeper level I think I  believe that God's love can be earned.  How simple the resounding noise in heaven rings that it is "by grace that you have been saved" when we have the ears and heart to receive it.

Productivity and efficiency can overwhelm and swallow up the beauty of the present. It can make us believe even for a second that it is human energy plus God that yields fruit when it in reality it is Christ alone.

Living life to please people will suffocate you. It never satisfy or fulfill like we trick ourselves into believing it will. It is only through living for the affirmation of Jesus will we ever be at rest. God is my judge and yours.

"For am I seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." -Galatians 1:10 

Sometimes you have to lose yourself to find the true self once lost.  Buried beneath the expectations of others, the condemning voice of the self, and the flurry of business lies the awakening heartbeat of God who longs for your revival of heart, soul, and being.  

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." -Matthew 10:39

Maybe the real reason people have a hard time seeing Him  in our world is not because He isn't there but because they were looking for a King they wouldn't recognize.  Are our lives, our words, how we spend our time telling of the King whom we love or are they telling of a driving force behind a striving life?  Are we living lives that are a window into the glory and heart of Christ?

"I have told the glad news of deliverance in the great congregation; behold, I have not restrained my lips, as you know, O LORD. I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart; I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation; I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness from the great congregation." -Psalm 40:9-10

We maximize and minimize ourselves.

Inflating ourselves to more than we are pridefully, we also minimize ourselves to a worthless spec that could not be redeemed. Both of these lack the very core and truth of the gospel of grace and forgiveness. When we are not enough, He is. When our sin was large enough to swallow our lives, He gave us life and covered it. When we fall, Grace can pick us up.   Unbelievably weak by our own strength, we live by the power of God in Him. We fall, He rises.  

"For he was crucified in weakness, but lives by the power of God. For we are also weak in him, but in dealing with you we will live with him by the power of God." -2 Corinthians 13:4  

We serve a dynamic and wonderfully beautiful God but how often do we limit who we are as His light bearers? Do we box ourselves into one particular area of life that we label as our ministry and neglect to come to Him in prayer for other areas or strengths we have yet to have the eyes to see? How often we overlook the fact that merely being present in someone's life can proclaim the love of Christ to that one person. 

Ephesians 3:20 He is able to do abundantly more through us according to His glory. 

It is all too easy to project the image of who we want people to be onto someone when in reality this can suffocate the very growth the Lord is doing within someone to make them into who He is making them to be. 

2 Corinthians 5:17 In Christ you are a new creation. You are intricately crafted, fantastically unique, and designed to bring the love of Christ into this world but the soul sitting next to you may have a radically different call, way of being, and way to love this world than you do.  Choose to love and embrace that He will reach this world in ways beyond your comprehension through those around you, it's not up to you.

Love understands our pain. 
Understands betrayal, opposition, feeling alone, love, having to muster strength we don't feel we possess. He walked this life, took on flesh, and experienced the world as you and I do. I was struck to the core by this when I came upon a song called "Love Does". Brandon Heath sings, "Nobody knows why your heart is broken Nobody cries while your prayers are going up But Love does Nobody walks on the road you’re paving Nobody sees all the souls you’re saving Oh, but Love does." Nothing done for His name is ever in vain and to follow Him is to trust in the strength of His Spirit at work in you and in the souls of those around you. 

God can handle our burdens, our doubts, our hurt.
Pretending all is fine might fool even those closest to you but not Him. He is strong enough to handle your blatant honesty- whether you believe in Him and are doubting what He is doing or whether you are struggling to believe He is who He said He is.  He desires truth in the inward being (Psalm 51) even if that may mean coming clean before Him. Walking in the darkness of your own private bitterness or denial of old wounds withdraws yourself from true healing.
"If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all our sin." -1 John 1:6-7

Fear can steal our remembrance of what has already been done on the cross, what has been given to us in the Spirit, and the hope we have in Christ.  Fear can make us forget that ultimately the worst thing would be for someone to be outside of God's will not pursuing it. 

His sacrifice on the cross must be brought to the forefront of our minds daily in order for us to persevere and rest our lives in the hands of Love.  It is not God that changes but our "receptivity" to His love as Sara Young explains. We must pray for the eyes and heart to receive this unfading love coming down from the "Father of Lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." -James 1:17-18

His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22).

In His presence there is riches beyond compare (Psalm 16:11) and the healing hands of restoration. Every morning is the dawning of new insight and truth whether this comes through trials, joy, or a day of rest.  

Laying everything down at His feet is where you will find your revival.  

In surrender and yielding yourself to Him, He is faithful to answer.   The heavens will open with glory, healing, and fullness beyond compare.

"Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need." -Malachi 3:10

  

Following Him, there is so much to learn. 

We will never "arrive" or ever have enough of this God.  To grow is to open our lives to be touched by more of His Spirit, His grace, and His refining truths. 

"I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now." -John 16:12

Humility is found when we have the open arms to receive His grace. Shooting down your worth is a slap in the face to God who sacrificed Himself to die for and raise you to life in Him. It is fake humility to preach your shortcomings more than you preach the grace that saved you.

"But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." -Acts 20:24

Growing older, we can lose the wonder and awe. 

We can loosen our grip on knowing the Savior, rejoicing in what He has done, and remembering the life-changing power in the name of Jesus. Amidst the worldly struggles, trials, and pain and even in the details of ministry or our faith, a hardened and bitter heart can be the poison of the spiritual life. We must put our minds fully set on the hope of Christ and heavenly things (Colossians 3:2)  It is only by grace that we delve deeper and maintain a hold on the promise.  Trust in Him to guard what you have been given each and every day and to grow up every way into Him.  

"O Timothy, guard the deposit entrusted to you...Grace be with you." 

-1 Timothy 6:20. 

And finally, love. The only thing that matters is love at the end of the day. 

Love working itself out through faith 

Love being the melody behind the words you sing.

Love being the flame within your heart and the courage for you to stand.

Choosing to love Him first, love others, and sometimes the most difficult, to love yourself because you were worth it for Him to die for.

In His arms you will be tightly held to journey through the waves of life but you must choose to remain close to His heartbeat each step.  Love is longing for each of us to fall back into His arms  to return whether it is for the fifth time this week or for the every first embrace.  We all need a second chance, following Him already or not, and it is up to us to choose to set our gaze to Him and draw near for He is waiting. 

You are the beloved and precious child of the King of Kings and He longs to bring you the rest and revival found within His promise to love and keep you all of your days.

"Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you." -Isaiah 30:18

"You are the hand that catches my fall
You are the friend that answers my call
You are my day, You are my night
You are my love and all of my life
You are the grace that covers my sin
You're everything the beginning and end
You have my soul, my heart and my mind
You have my love and all of my life."

-"Always Forever" by Phil Wickam
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vXktjT98Q4 "Always forever" 

A Beautiful Rescue

Dimming the lights, it was time for a few moments of silence.

"If now is the time you are in need of a rescue, come to God with it."

And with that a few thousand people bowed their heads in prayer at a Christmas service in 2012 and I was swept backwards. Squeezing my eyes shut with tears forming in my eyes, I was swept back to my rescue moment.  July of 2011 on my last retreat, surrounded by a very similar darkened auditorium, my life was about to dramatically change.

It was time to release my clenched fists.

I knew in my heart that smiling through the deep pain within me would not heal me.  It might fool people or myself but I knew even deeper within my heart that I was crying out to be rescued although I had been too prideful to admit it.  Jesus was held at the most comfortable of distances, close enough that I could claim the label, but far enough away that my heart remained locked away and sealed for me to clumsily stitch up as I moved through my days seamlessly.  I claimed His saving yet I had continually tried to paddle with arms flailing in the opposite direction.  

I knew I needed a change but little did I know the Answer had been standing beside me all along.  The King of Kings, God of angel armies, Emmanuel, and my Savior had been there a long. Patiently waiting and watching over me from the moment that I entered this world--He longed to rescue me from the darkness and utter emptiness apart from His light.  He didn't want my money, my time on Sunday, for me to sell everything to the poor, or for me to have perfect attendance at youth group...He wanted my heart. And to give a heart would mean surrender of control...something most of us including myself are not fond of.  

But this was where I found myself on that retreat two months before I would step onto Hope College as a freshman. Resistant to change but the walls were closing in. The weight of it all was suffocating to any scrap of belief I might have had in myself. I couldn't believe myself worthy of having any type of significance or that I could belong somewhere. 

Yet isn't that the beauty of the gospel? Isn't this the magnified hope in the redemption we have received as children of the living God? Mere dust, unworthy, and ragged but despite all this our God, in His fierce and unfathomable love, chooses to reach down into the depths of humanity and blow His life into us.  Through His Son, Jesus Christ, we are now alive in Christ taking on His new life and adopted as sons and daughters to receive the eternal inheritance of His Kingdom (Ephesians 1:5).

Now on December 21st I slowly opened my eyes, the stage lights flooding my vision. Bill Hybel's words of the present echoed in my heart as he spoke. 

"I'll say this again, who in this room is in need of a Divine rescue? There is no depth He cannot reach down and pull you from."

I was in need of a Divine rescue on that night two years ago.

On that retreat, my heart cry echoed through the silence into the heavens and I believe it was then that my world began to change.  From the inside out, God began to transform, renew, and heal me through a personal relationship with the Savior. And I can tell you life has truly never been the same since.

My life at 19 years old is full and rich with wonderful people, a great family, and a good education, but above all of this stands the most important and highly cherished relationship with my Savior. Living and active, He is.  Constantly teaching, refining, revealing, and touching the depths of my heart with grace, mercy, and love--I will forever be changed. Seeking Him has revealed areas of who He is that continually blow my mind and press me to go deeper.  The joy of knowing Christ fills my heart and my eyes with the radiant hope of His name.  Talking about Him and spreading His glory has brought soul-filling joy inexpressible.  

After all, after this type of a rescue how could I stay silent about this?

"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God." -Psalm 40:2 

He put a song of hope in my lungs too desperately beautiful and true to remain within the corridors of my own heart. 

It's not merely for me. My life is about making Him known to everyone around me. It's about letting out a song of praise and thankfulness for my Divine rescuer and hero who has changed my life in every way and is deserving of my praise.

It is about proclaiming the truth that there is a God whose love for you is as fierce as the grace. He died to free you from living this life for yourself or even for the sake of other people. Your life is meant to be His for it is placing your trust in Him where the world will be touched by the lasting impact so many of you long to make.

It is about preaching the truth that our God is alive. He died 2000 years ago but is now seated at the right hand of the Father and the reality of this truth changes everything for you, for me, and for this world. 

It is about revealing to this generation that they have something to live for!!! You have purpose beyond who you'll date next, your test grade, what party you can attend next, or your popularity and it is in your pursuit of Christ. 

I don't know who you are. You may be a random blogger, a Facebook friend I haven't spoken to in five years, or you may be someone I know quite well.  Whoever you are, I want you to know how dearly you are loved, how much you are cherished, how much you are worth in the sight of our God. I believe that you are reading these words for a reason and I pray you take them to heart. 

John Piper writes these words in "Don't Waste Your Life":

"Oh who will get in their face and give them something to live for..?" 

I am not going to get in your face but lovingly step into your path and interrupt your thoughts for a moment.

When the tally of your days is up and all is said and done---what did you live for? Did you find the meaning of your life or why you're here?  Did you invest your heart in the eternal and unshakable Kingdom of God and the relationship you were designed for? Did you spend your life giving people the life-changing eternal gift of Christ?  Did you allow doubts and pride to block you from surrendering to a beautiful rescue ?

You get one shot at life. 

Not two, not three, not four...but one. That means spending it on what will inevitably pass away and living in unbelief of our reigning God would be an incredible tragedy beyond compare.  Joan of Arc writes, "One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying." 

Breathe and meditate upon these truths:

You were born to behold glory.

You were born for a fierce Kingdom purpose.

Your voice has the potential to carry the weight of the King.

You were born to be adopted in a family you belong in.

You were made to walk with Him, to be loved by the Creator.

You were born to be loved.

You were created with a Divine plan in mind--to be rescued and swept into the epic story God is already telling.  To be brought to the knowledge of the most breathtaking and astounding love found in Christ alone that transforms and makes you into the symbol of Love the world is waiting for.

True freedom lies in surrender. 

It lies in surrendering that you can do this life on your own, surrendering a need to please everyone around you, surrendering societal expectations, and above all, surrendering to Christ. 

I write these words to you today knowing full well that it is not easy. 

It is not easy to cast aside the opinion of the world, your friends, your classmates, and even that inner voice that tells you this is too good to be true.  I know also that I need to get the point across that we are ALL in need of a Divine Rescue but beyond that, we need Christ to continue saving us from slipping, we need Christ's continue renewal and healing, and we need His strength to continue this journey of life. 

The beautiful truth and reality is that a Divine rescue is a call away.  He stands ready and waiting, unchanging and eternal, with arms open to receive you, His beloved child that He longs to know.

If you feel He has deserted you or left you to fight this life alone, I assure you He is right by your side. Not for one moment has He forgotten or left you to fight this life on your own.  Sometimes those seasons are to shape you and to turn you on your heel straight into His arms.  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD0cvWImVjA "Not for a moment" by Meredith Andrews)

God's love is so incomprehensibly vast and deep.  If you doubt whether or not He cares for you look at the lengths He went to in order to send us our Savior.  

He chose to grant you the choice to be free in love. To choose a Divine rescue or the way of the world is yours to make, Love will come at your call.  

Romans 10:13: "For all who call on the name of the Lord will be saved."

I firmly believe God may be calling each of you into His arms whispering your name with a plan more breathtaking than you can dare to imagine. It's time to silence the world and your own doubts, He is speaking. 

"...you whom I took from the ends of the earth, and called from its farthest corners, saying to you, "You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off"; fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:9-10

(Baptism day August 2010-).


"On the day I called You answered me and the hope in my soul increased.."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8-9uOwDObM "You are more" by Hillsong

"Love came down and rescued me. Love came down and set me free. I am Yours, I am forever Yours." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShxntTzMXtU "Love Came Down" by Kari Jobe.

"And I know that You have come down even if to ride upon my heart to remind me who You are.."http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbSMfL5LuSo "You are for me" by Kari Jobe

Your Presence, Our Pursuit

Can I pour my heart out to You in Your presence?
In the strain of the present, the weights, the worry,
Outstretched wings of grace hide me and keep me.
Your heart can hold mine,
can steady the frantic pulse of my worries.
Your arms can sweep through the air and lift mine from the depths
to sing.

Beaming with a shine too magnificent to behold,
my heart is ignited, my face to shine the glory of my new life in You.
Joy? I never once knew it until I entered the presence of my King,
until I caught even a glimpse of Your gaze,
a touch of Your Spirit filling and consuming my soul.

Can I turn my gaze above?
Above the earth You reign in might and glory,
Lifting my scrambling feet from the sprint,
to fly in the freedom of grace and trust.

Placing mighty hands upon my shoulders,
I can rest inside the stronghold and fortress of my God
who goes before me.
With a fierceness and jealousy I will never comprehend,
You consistently battle for my life.
I need only halt my heart from being carried into the future
for it is in the present Your fullness is pleased to dwell.

Better is one day, one moment, one glimpse of the Kingdom.
Calling out to be known, Your presence to be felt.
To behold this for all of my days.
A promise made and sealed, a love confirmed.
I need only return to You to be restored double.

For your own sake, pour out Jesus
because You are worthy.
For your own glory, shine upon a desolate and weary land,
for all to taste and see this splendor I pray.

Can I pour my heart out to You in expectation of Your healing truth to restore and direct my steps?
Can I turn my gaze above to find Your gentle and fierce gaze looking upon me in love?

Faithful and just,

strong and true You are.

Love calling out to me on my knees.

Pouring unceasingly into a thirsty heart,

You lavish the living water that satisfies, 

that rushes over the cracks and dried bones and remnants of my old life.

Come and fill this heart, Jesus. 

You're calling out to be heard and You will not stay silent.

Lift our heads, spark our voices to sing to You, to seek Your presence.

Your presence is our pursuit, our heart cry

To make it known the prayer upon my lips from this day forward.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwhUgCf3fTw "Pursuit" Jesus Culture

Blooming Hearts

Reaching into the black of my messy heart,
Steady light You bring.
Untangling my string of cracked and broken lights
woven into my inner being,
You draw me gently to my knees.

Hands of healing touch the depths,
In shock, I raise my eyes and stand once more.
Sparking Truth to flow through my veins. 

Unpleasant at first, a cool wind blows,
my clothes ruffle and skin grows colder,
And yet, 
it is here I wish to stand.

A beautiful door into my heart unlocking at the sound of my Father's voice 

blowing His love and promises through this strong and steady wind.

Resetting my eyes, 
Renewing my vision, Cleansing me of glances over my shoulder,
Calming desperate and frantic eyes searching the horizon,
Simply waiting for my past to crash into the present.

I pray to You,
Resurrect my soul to be wholly and truly Yours, 
I am not my own.
Halt any word to come across these lips that does not bring life, 
Press pause in the inner depths of my heart when I attempt to impress this world or a single person in it other than You.

Worthy, You are.
Weed out the vines,
Bloom in the inner recesses of my heart so I may grow up into You,
A woman rooted and resting in the beauty of Truth.

In every moment, every pain, every trial, every moment of everyday He is constant and full.  With Jesus, we have one of the most beautiful opportunities to worship, to adore, and to know the Savior of this world and resurrector of our hearts.

And do you know what results from having a deep relationship with a God of fullness? Blooming hearts of fiery beauty for our King.

For the majority of my life, I suffered from self-confidence issues and it was only through the healing and love of Christ that He began to light my path out of that.  But with the beautiful redemption at work within me, Satan has also tried to attack this new growth every chance he gets.

Lately, I have been faced with a nice long list of lies that Satan has attempted to lug into my present.  And just as I have in the past, I initially chose to buy into them. I believed for a moment that these closed doors were my fault. I believed that these were a result of me stepping outside of God's will and yet sitting here, I am beginning to process much more of the "why" hanging over so many of life's situations over the past three years.

I am writing this with a smile on my face because the power of Christ wins...every single time. The fierce love and devotion He has for you and for me is so much higher, deeper, and wider than we will ever be able to comprehend in this lifetime.

I am learning so much about what it means to walk alongside Jesus in every moment and situation.  Jesus is blooming within my heart and changing me from the inside out to realize, recognize, and highlight what He needs me to see.  Unveiling more and more of the woman of elegance, grace, wisdom, trust, and patience, He is calling me to be, I know to follow.

The only thing in this moment and season of my life that I am called to be is myself for in doing that I am walking in the truth of who He is.
"Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom of the secret heart." 
-Psalm 51:8

I am not called "prove my faith" or be "spiritual enough" for any person in this life other than the person of Christ. Doing this, I hinder the pure and genuine love of Christ dying to break out of my heart to be known to those He is placing all around me.

Allowing Christ to unshackle the chains of anxiety, worry, and fear is to let Him in to change you.  Lifting the heaviness off of your vision, you are able to see with clarity that every single day He is enabling you to step forward into the restoration and renewal of your soul.

Bloom.

This is the very word that sparks passion in my soul for this chapter of my life as a sophomore here at Hope College. I am discovering the beauty of living my every day to be immersed in who He is so that I may walk in love and grow up deeper into Him. 

Reading this I hope and pray you find the encouragement to let Him grow you in whatever season you are in. There is no greater joy than to know Jesus and to be known by Him.  With eyes ahead and not behind, press on towards the upward call of Christ. There is nothing more beautiful than falling in step with the One who will redeem even the most broken of souls to be made whole in His love.

"Just keep believing,
you’ll see a new season soon
You’re turning into something amazing.." 
-Moriah Peters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPeudF7tcD8

"Unclench your fists, unlock your knees, and also the door to your heart, take a deep breath, and begin to swim. Begin to let the waves do their work in you." 

-Shauna Niequist

How

And how can they know if we remain unchanged?
How will they see and understand the depth of Your love if outrageous love does not spill out of our heart, mind, and soul?
How will they believe You are our treasure if we live as though you are merely an adornment for our lives and not our all-consuming fire?
How will the hope of Your message touch their hearts in the profoundest of ways if it remains bottled up?

We must proclaim not merely speak,
We must rise to praise You not merely sing
We must step towards Your refining flame not back away in fear of what it might bring,
We must seek You fiercely to pulse through our veins
We must pray for Love's embrace to guide those who stumble,
We must joyfully abound in your grace one moment to the next not merely move

Jesus, you do not need us but You choose to reflect Your fire, Your desperation, Your compassion, Your grace through each of our candle flames.

Burn in us so brilliantly, so brightly, so passionately that it will be evident all else pales in comparison in light of Your face turned upon us on this day.

First

2 Corinthians 8:5
"...and this, not as they expected, but they gave themselves first to the Lord and then by the will of God to others."

We must spend more time seeking the approval of the King than the approval of those around us.
We must soak in the richness of His unfathomable love so that we don't merely pour out of our limited strength, but overflow with His living waters.
We must learn that it is not us that this world needs, but the One who resides within our hearts.
We must see that acceptance and grace is the bridge for His love to connect the two ends
We must kneel down before the only One who can lift our face and fill our hearts with the burning light  of passion and hope.

It is not what is expected, but it is the only way you can thrive and deepen the most important relationship you will ever have--by being reconciled to the Healer who will then radically alter your heart to be reconciled to a broken world.

Mighty

Tearing open the heavens,
Mercy falling down,
On my knees,
Ragged edges stretch their bounds,
Giving way to this rush of grace

Gentle touch of wholeness
Knitting my loose ends,
Weaving me into Your flesh

Immobile and fixed on the Rock
Shaking hands in surrender,

Mighty to save,
in my frailties You are Lord.

What are you expecting?

A few weeks ago I had an intense revelation/experience. The next morning I came across a chapter entitled "What are you expecting?"

Asking some very tough questions straight to the core of what my expectations were in faith, I was very challenged.

The author rattles off a chain of questions:
"What are you expecting?
Are you expecting for everyone to understand you?
Are you expecting family to completely understand you?
Are you expecting for dying to yourself to be easy?
Are you expecting for everything to turn out the way you think it should?"

And as I sit here, these are the feelings that brew in my heart and mind--that it is not easy in the slightest. What I expected after devoting my life to Christ would be that it would be smooth sailing, not an everyday challenge.  What I expected after experiencing the power of Christ was that I could be the Savior for certain people in my life believing they "needed me" when in reality I was the one who needed them to see I needed saving, if not more so than those around me.  What I expected was it wouldn't take every last ounce of my strength to vocalize my weakness and acknowledge how desperately I need this new life to be affirmed in my soul every single day. What I expected is that I would understand His plan for my life with every step and it would be easy to trust Him, not that I would find myself wrecked with doubt and confusion over the course of my journey thus far.

And yet, in love, Jesus was sent to this world.  The fullness of God present and walking the earth sent to redeem the brokenness.  And what was the response of the world? Crucify the answer meant to save us.

He gave every last piece of Himself so that we might know the love of the Father.  How can we as Christians believe that we can slide by under the radar when Christ stood apart from the crowd dramatically for the sake of those around Him.  We are called to stand up and proclaim the radical saving love. How can we as Christians believe it is going to be easy to break through to people with the love of Christ? Do we expect for people to know we follow Christ simply by our politeness? This world has wall after wall after wall after wall held up against the idea of an all loving Creator.  It seems much of this has to do with those who follow Him, claim to bear the radical symbol of love by wearing a cross, and yet their lives don't look much different from someone who doesn't believe.  How often are Christians (myself included) so quick to condemn another for their choices or beliefs without taking the time to sit down and understand their journey, reflecting the heart of patience and compassion that Jesus has shown us from the moment He was born up until this moment when He is alive and reigning.

It is going to take Christ followers with their hearts, minds, and souls flung wide open to receive the ocean of His grace to tear down the walls.
It is going to take us humbly acknowledging that in our lives we are the jars of clay meant to display the all consuming fire and treasure of Christ (2 Corinthians 4:7).
It is going to take hearts willing to venture into discomfort to bear the name of Christ in all things with patience and trust that all things done in His name are not done in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58).

The line between this world and the next is a very thin one, a thread meant to wake us up to the fact that we have not been guaranteed an entire lifetime to one day grow into the people God is calling us to be. Now is the time to grab hold of the fullness and groundbreaking love of Jesus so your heart will not only be radically altered, remade, and healed but that for the sake of the world He will burn in you so all may see (2 Corinthians 4:15).

To participate in the Kingdom of Christ is the most soul-filling, worthwhile endeavor you will ever be called to and with that, the most challenging.  You may not feel worthy of this call and the truth is that you aren't--it is the life of Jesus within you that cancels the record of sin and clothes you in the righteousness of God, allowing you to be presented whole before the Father.

Christ is here and now, looking at you and calling you to take up your cross and follow His lead.  Are you expecting it to be easy? 

No, but expect it to be worth it.

Dear True Love

"Dear true love,
I'm a writer without any words,
I'm a story that nobody heard 
When I'm without you.
I am a voice,
I am a voice without any sound.
I'm a treasure map that nobody found
When I'm without you.
Dear true love,
I'm a lantern without any light,
I'm a boxer much too afraid to fight
When I'm without you.."
-Sleeping at Last


"Love Me. Trust Me. Seek Me.."

All along, You whispered. You yelled, I closed my ears and pretended I was listening. You tapped me on the shoulder, I refused to turn. And yet here I find You.

On my knees, filling my soul, widening my gaze, placing a burning fire within me that has rained down more joy upon my life than ever before. Opening my heart up to You fully and completely You have begun the healing process, speaking Truth to crash over my wounds in healing waves. You have spoken and I have chosen to listen.

"Silence, be still My child.."
Why is this so hard for me as a Christian to swallow? Do I really believe that I can save this world or even myself?

You have brought me from a constant state of motion to a standstill. Stopping mid-stride, You whisper for me to put my hand over my heart. Your Kingdom purpose beats through my veins and pushes out the weeds. You clear me out, bringing me to my knees to be emptied and blessed with more fullness than I could imagine.

Lord, You are so unbelievably faithful.
Oh, how I see it now and continue to be humbled by Your love flowing through my heart like a river.
Mercy and grace drenching my small existence from every angle, quenching my thirst.

You have silenced my voice and are teaching me the art of trusting You, of letting You in. You are revealing to me how to enter into Your rest, to lay at Your feet and wait expectantly for the voice of the Savior to speak me into motion. 

You consistently turn Your face upon this unworthy and undeserving girl who needs to be bound to Your heart daily. You constantly lavish grace that abounds in the depths of my heart.

You beckon me forth.
Deeper into Your Kingdom's cause, my passionate flame for this bleeds deeper than anything I have ever experienced in my 19 years on this earth. You are allowing me to shine into this world Love Himself who has brought me out of the pit of emptiness and into the fullness of grace.

I am deeply astounded, Lord. I worship and praise because Your love satisfies every piece of who I am.
I want to chase this cross with everything I am for everyone around me to know the Love that chases after them every single day.  God, just as You long for me, You long for them.

You fill my lips with words of splendor and truth,
You script adventure in between the day to day schedule,
You shine out of the depths of a heart renewed 
You grant me the privilege of shining You every step of my journey.
Thank You, Jesus. 

For unanswered prayers, 
for answered prayers, 
for leading me in my weakness,
for trying times that break me down,
for equipping me in Your Truth as You lead me,
for the mountaintop moments of Your praise,
for being humbled into seeing my own frailties and limits,
for loneliness that set me to seek You and know You more, 
for beautiful friendships singing of Your Truth and praise,
for the blessing of serving children and showing them Your compassion, 
for the privilege of being disciplined and sharpened by Your words,
for being refined by Your flame, 
for finding daily there is so much more of You to behold every single day,
for the immense blessing of blessing others with the radical love that has been shown to me,
for the joys of sharing a relationship that deepens, grows, and tests me every single day,
for revelations You give that rock my heart, leaving me smiling up at You.

Your plans and thoughts for me and for every person reading this outnumber the skies. You desire to give us Your person in fullness sending Your Holy Spirit to crash down upon us and fill every inch of our lives. You have a divine jealousy for our hearts, our minds, our very souls. May we give it to You joyfully and freely-knowing when we have the courage to come with empty hands You will shower and lavish our lives with more of You than we could ever dream of.

You, Lord, are everything I could ever ask for...and so much more. 
Be My love, My divine purpose, My best friend, and the Leader of my life.

Wonder

Warm honey glow,
Dripping from sky lights,
Pouring onto the path before me,
Blinded I step into motionless time.

Scripted affection in the sky beckoning,
tugging my heart onward beyond the rough,
dreams caressing the waves to stillness.

Behold,
Eyes slowly widen,
the glittering air of wonder,
a whispered dream of glory.

A hope my story longs to sing of,
A kingdom my heart longs to touch,
to know,
to grip with the depths of my soul.

All that I am for all that You are.

Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.  Psalm 119:18

Clings to Dust

Sweep away the sting of dust in my sight,

The colored illusions of glass stained by human hands,

Tainted and bent,

Only to refract shards into the depths of the soul.

Softly, I breathe in color.

Crimson and emerald bleed through window panes,

Overarching brilliance housing my soul for but a moment.

Ground breaking beneath the weight,

Radiance pressing in from all angles.

To wind its way through stones of old,

To silence my doubts,

Transparency shining heaven,

illuminating a thin veil.

Fullness,

Oh the purest of dreams,

The essence of glory eclipsing my soul.

Consuming my desires.

Beckoned to step into this whisper of the heart

buried in the caverns of my soul.

Blinded eyes drenched in glory,

Abandoned to transcendence,

Throwing the chains off of my heart,

Freedom anchors my soul.

Seized from the pull,

The touch of emptiness,

Roused from slumber,

I am pulled to stand in praise.

Drawn to the throne of perfection,

King of Kings, heart of my heart.

Scales peeled back,

Dust released,

Swept into the winds of illusion.

Visions radiate,

Emanating from the source,

An assurance of beyond.

A curtain is drawn as buildings crumble,

Burning truth unveiled,
Reality my soul knows all too well.