One.

On a beautiful day in Michigan, my eyes are lit by this sunlight of His warming my heart.  

But lowering my eyes to the pavement, I find what pains my heart as well.  The cracks, the tears, the splits in the pavement that quietly remain even on beautiful days.

Searching my memory, I see people blindly walking through the doors of this earth, smiling and laughing, blind to the One reigning and shining over them in glory. People with hearts set on the broken things of this world, content with the emptiness of desire, people untouched by God's restoration and healing with gates closed and locked to Him but swinging open to take the arrows of this world without a second thought.  Silently they pass through our lives...and we let them.  

Looking heavenward once again, I see a sky full of beauty and Light waiting to be exposed.  I see a world high above our own fixed in the sky with a God who reigns on high, waiting for those who love Him to bring Him down, for them to reach up and bring His grace breaking through the barriers of this world...yet we hesitate.  

We wait for tomorrow to become the person we desire to be instead of making the change today. We leave it to other people to reach out, to step up, to lead, to take risks. We dwell not in the present but with hearts set on a future we have limited control over and we miss out.  We continue walking through with sights set on our own path, blind to the fact that our stories are all being woven into one of greater Love and Glory, purposefully intersecting with these certain people around us so that we may be what God uses to connect them to Jesus.

Yet fear, self-doubt, and beaten down courage stand in our path and taunt us.

Psalm 143:3 reminds us that the Enemy is also pursuing us along with Christ and that his mission is to stamp out our faith in Christ, pushing our life of faith to be buried.  Doubt is a key way that we allow our hearts for God's people to lie dormant. We think to ourselves, "I can't possibly make a change in that person's life. I am only one person in this world." 

My challenge to you is to think again.

With the acceptance of Jesus into your heart, your forever will be changed. Both in the days that you walk this earth and in the life to come.  Shattering chains, splitting hearts of solid stone, unveiling the King's glory in our hearts, coming to earth was one single person who changed the game for every single one of us who did not deserve any part in His story and that person is Jesus Christ.

As a follower of Christ, you are called to be one who will have Kingdom impact.   Sitting wherever you are, at home, on your campus, at your desk, you have what it takes.  Not because of who you are but because of who Christ is. You have the Spirit to guide and lead you into the places where you will need His courage.  You have been equipped with the unending passionate love of God not simply for you but because He needs you to spread it. You are called to bring forth life in the lives of those around you, bearing witness to the Light who has brought you out of darkness. 

It is time to take hold of the life God has been calling you to and to accept the invitation to join His team.  You could be the one God uses to do amazing things, the one rising up in strength and courage to be the reflection of Christ that this world desperately needs to see, someone who steps aside and decreases so that the true Light may explode and spark a flame that ignites.

One man laid down His life, His everything so every one of us may truly live.

The life and unfailing promise He blesses us with should inspire us to live our lives passionately pursuing opportunities to be representations of the One who saved us and deserves all we have to offer in this life. 

"Be the one who truly follows Jesus, then trust God to unleash His loving power through you." -Ken Cochrum  "Campus Crusade for Christ"

Contrast

Life is contrast.

Fixating on the unending asphalt in front of you, your eyes grow weary and your heart mixes with heaviness in the pit of your soul.

Turning your eyes upward clouds hang in the balance, gracefully appointed a spot in the bluest of skies calling you to lift your heart in hope.

Glancing in the mirror, your eyes are drawn to the cracks, the brokenness, the flaws, the misgivings, and they seem unending.

With a second look, His crown of creation stares back. Fearfully and wonderfully made for a God-scripted purpose in this world, your heart beats with conviction for a God who inhabits your soul.

Other people’s thoughts press your faith into the dust, the moments your doubts fall like tears and you come to taste the depths of the valley.

Hearts cry out in praise for the King who infuses the spirit of His beauty into us as hands lift in surrender to the One who carries us home.

Beautiful is the One whose cross ignites a spark on the horizon.  

Beautiful is the One who is Light amidst the darkness, pushing our hearts to embrace the beauty found within the contrast of this life.

Thank You.

Beauty

I find some of the color draining.


The color of vibrancy, the color of beauty, the color of Majesty.


Glancing behind and forward, I find eyes growing accustomed to dimness. 
A heart sensitive to the winds of this life knocking me as I walk with a resolve to seek You.  
A spirit growing weary of constantly waiting.  


Drawn to narrowly perceive my life through the eyes of this world, I feel a grip on this color slipping from my hands.  Simple words, simple statements, simple things crossing my path, and it continues to loosen.  They come and snatch color from my sky. 


I need You to be my shield God. To surround my heart and to protect me from things of this world because they unearth past fears, stir me to doubt, and move me from a place of confidence in You to a small corner of doubt. 


Jesus, You speak Life into my veins. 
You plant beauty with purpose on a path that unfolds to lead me deeper into Your heart.  With a second glance at my story, Your color fills my eyes with wonder at the work of Your hands.  Carefully orchestrated missteps and diversions point me into the beauty of Your plan for my life lying within Your story.


Jesus, maker of Beauty, remind my heart. 
Chase my heart down and bind it to Thee. May the Spirit convict me of my worth Lord and Your divine purpose for me in these 4 short years of college. Overwhelm my vision with Your beauty every single day of this short life.  


Be my Shepherd to cut a path through the dimness of my own making to discover the fullness of Light seeking to lead me forward in peace.  

"Like the appearance of the bow that is in the cloud on the day of rain, so was the appearance of the brightness all around.  

Such was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord. And when I saw it, I fell on my face, and I heard the voice of one speaking." -Ezekiel 1:28

Psalm 143: A Lifted Soul

To lift our souls, our hearts, our lives to Him is what He desires.  We find restoration in Christ through the honesty of our hearts and this poem explores the truth of Psalm 143. May God use this to inspire you to live in light of His truth.

An emptied glass, clear and transparent

A colorless soul drained of a will to fight

Desperately I search, 

Breathless I run.

Stretching before me a horizon in reverse,

A sun retreating into the distance.

Desperation locks my chains, 

Fear blackens my hope,

A heart once pulsing for Life slows to match the pace of the flesh.

Stretching my hands into the sky,

Reaching for a throne,

My hands grasp a touch of grace, 

As sparkling light breaks through the night.

A melodious choir of hope illuminates the air,

Lightening my soul to fly.

The chains of old have been broken

A dashed heart's memory brought into focus,

The glorious weaving of Christ in my bones,

My eyes flash with the beauty of yesterdays,

A beckoning dawn of hope.

Protection and grace You bestow,

Standing guard around my soul,

Shielding my heart in purity,

Outstretched claws of black broken by a hand of might.

Reaching within, my soul I lift surely to You,

My spirit to fall into step with Yours.

Clinging to a cross on a hill,

Perfect and pure against the blackness of night.

Moving deeper into this heart of His,

Hope Himself rests quietly in the unseen.

Tangled visions to clarity, 

Faint lights to brilliance, 

Cries to the silence of awe,

Quieted by a love turning my soul to sing.

Filled to pour out treasures,

To shout of Love,

To cry in delight,

To blindly run after Your will,

Your fountain ever flowing.

The sun rises on new eyes,

Shining to brighten the steps ahead I will trust that

on level ground I am led through the dryness of dark.

To thirst is my reality,

For it is the Living Blood I seek.

------

[Psalm 143]

"For the enemy has pursued my soul; he has crushed my life into the ground...I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done...I stretch out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land...Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust.  Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul..." 

"If my heart is overwhelmed and I cannot hear Your voice

                      I hold on to what is true though I cannot see.  

If the storms of life they come and the road ahead gets steep, 

        I will lift these hands in faith, I will believe. 

             I'll remind myself of all that You've done and 

  the life I have because of Your son..." 

-Kari Jobe

Find you on my knees

I think we like to lie to ourselves.  

We lie to ourselves about the state of our hearts, how deeply we need God. 

In the past, standing on my own two feet to take on the world was the way I attempted to conquer my life.  But then, as the storms always come, I felt the pressure.  I felt the wind smacking at my sails and I soon found myself on my knees. 

I was the one in high school who always played it like I had my life together.

I snipped the loose ends around my heart, brushed off the dust that I felt tarnished my image.  I wanted people to accept me.

Zeroing in on beauty, body-image, finding a boy, and my grades, I thought I would find myself.  On the outside many wouldn't have guessed this to be true but the walls I built up were enough to distract from the truth.  Shutting up the inner voice in my soul that pushed me to honesty, I chased the endless pursuits of those around me and became oblivious to the fact that God's path for me lied outside of the boundaries of myself.  

I built upon a foundation of lies, allowing my misguided perceptions to guide my heart into more and more pain, instead of into the healing light of Christ.  I began to believe that I didn't deserve love from anyone.  Family, friends, a guy, even God.  How could someone love me when I felt that broken? 

How could I expose this brokenness to anybody when people were expecting me to have this strong faith in God?

I ran away.  I ran as far as possible from the truth in my heart crying out even when I knew deep down God had wanted me turn to Him. 

Psalm 51:17 says, "The sacrifices of God are a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." 

I realized that in hiding my hurt, my weakness, and my pain I wasn't allowing myself to love God fully.  I had hid from God, blind to the fact He simply wanted me to lift my face to Him.  I soon found myself face to face with what I been avoiding for months.  The complete and utter lack of confidence in myself brought me to reality.  It snapped my sight into focus onto God who I had lost sight of.

"Our biggest fear is that others see us the way we see ourselves," the speaker said.  I believed in my heart of hearts that those around me had cast me in the most negative of lights when in reality, I had blown my human flaws up to such a point that it was all that I saw. 

God taught me something at this retreat.

We find Christ on our knees.  Not always on the mountaintops, the amazing highs, but in the crashing lows of this life when we come to the end of ourselves. When we realize that God is our rock and refuge, the only One with the power to change our hearts, to restore us to the joy of salvation.  

Today, I wear that church retreat bracelet as a reminder of the day I got honest. 

Splitting apart, cracked, faded from orange to white, flawed, and yet absolutely perfect, it is wrapped around my wrist.  A reminder I cannot do this life alone without Him leading me forward because my strength fails. 

To be a person of strength means vulnerability. 

It means exposing our hearts and admitting our brokenness to Him so that one day people may see the power of Christ to heal and restore.  You can show people that the cross is a place for the broken and lost, not the perfect and put together.  Chapel is not a place for the strongest of Christians and the holiest of holy but for every single one of God's children.  God's gift is for every single person in this life and by our power alone, we do not deserve the gift. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, "For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one can boast." 

Lord, I cannot boast in anything but Your unfailing love. We find You on our knees.  Not one person who resides in this world is above coming to You, the only One who holds our lives in the palm of Your hand.  We are Yours and may we remind each other that in our weakness Your power is made perfect.  

"...I will find you in the place I'm in, find you when I'm at my end, Find you when there's nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness. You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty, When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I'll find you on my knees." -Kari Jobe

Eyes on Me

"Let your gaze be directly forward and your gaze be straight before you.  Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure." -Proverbs 4:25-26

"Taylor, keep your eyes on me, I am all you need."


This is what I feel God whisper to me when I feel doubtful every time my eyes stray from the cross and I decide to make this life my own.  


My mind races through the next four years of college, different friendships in my life I don't feel I have done enough in, people God has put on my heart,  keeping up with classes, searching for and wanting to fulfill God's will for my life, finding a man who loves Christ more than I do, and living the best life that I possibly can to serve and shine for God here.  


Look at Peter. Believing in God He steps off of the boat and as he sees the wind, fear takes over and he sinks.  Sounds like a lot of our own stories, right?


He could have sunk deeper but then Jesus stretches a hand out to him to save and says, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" (Matthew 14:31)


In essence, I am Peter.  Part faithful and trusting yet part fearful and doubting.  I believe wholeheartedly in Jesus and when He calls, I get distracted.  Whether it is a storm in my life, maybe a problem, a person, or an overwhelming fear unearthed by the world,  I sometimes question Him.  Blindly stepping out of the boat, I need to learn to keep my eyes fixed straight ahead for the world will try to sway me. I may be shaky but that is enough for Him as long as I shatter the fears to reach Him.  Taking the first step towards Him is enough because we learn that is what our faith entails.  We will never accomplish great things for God unless we take that first initial step.  Martin Luther King Jr. says, "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." 


In Kisses for Katie, she explains how God loves us knowing we are fearful and wants us to carry His work out anyways in the best way we can saying, 
"You are Peter.  God already knows that you will make a mess, but His plan for you is great. Go. Feed His sheep."


And this is where I find myself at the foot of the cross.  Stained and broken like Peter, I find a love that rescues me from myself and redeems me.  He summons me to answer His call.  


Isaiah 43:1 says, "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine."


No matter what I do, nothing brings me to God but Christ who took it upon himself to rescue me.  To rescue someone who will continually turn away from Him, mess up, fall away, but that will strive to love Him with everything that she has.  Ephesians 2:8 says "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God."


I find myself resting in the fact that the running, the moving, and chase for perfection I sometimes chase is empty.  Christ already paid the cost and the cross is enough for me.  It fills me up and brings a calm to the storm that looms.  


1 Corinthians 1:18 says, 
[ For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who don't believe but for those who do believe, it is the power of God .]


I want a vision for my life shaped by Christ alone.  I want to learn complete trust in Him.  I want to rest in knowing that I am in inadequate but through Christ, I can shine into the hearts of those around me. 


I give my life completely to You.  Take the reigns because I cannot do this on my own.  Take it from my hands  I am merely a vessel for whatever You desire of the life and possibilities stretched out before me. I am not my own for I have been bought with a price.  Even when I find myself inadequate in Your sight, You remind me whose I am.  


Relying on what I can see to affirm my future will only leave me empty.  
Phil Wickam sings, "The world behind me, the cross before me; No turning back, no turning back..." 


In following Christ I surrendered a love of the world to strive towards the fullness of life in the cross before me.  In keeping my eyes fixed on You alone, I will find that nothing else matters but a life devoted to You no matter how many times I look away. I can't do this by myself because You are what I need to fulfill my call here.


"Lead me because I can't do this alone..." 
                                                           -Sanctus Real

"...Daughter, your faith has made you well..."-Mark 5:34

Story of Radiance: Out of the Dust

"I am concerned with a certain way of looking at life which was created in me by fairytales but has since been ratified by mere facts..." -G.H. Chesterton


Woven together so skillfully and creatively, my heart was captured every time. 
Out of the dust, the treasured beauty was restored and unveiled in the fairytales I loved so dearly.  Deep down, I secretly dreamed of playing a part in something that amazing.  


Little did I know that I already was.


Reading an incredible book called Waking the Dead by John Eldredge, I began to realize why I was so taken with fairytales.


It was the transformation. Magic unearthing true authentic beauty to shine. And isn't this the story of our lives? Beauty there all along, simply veiled and hidden.  


The Bible explores the ultimate veiled truth in this life.

2 Corinthians 4:3-6 says, 

"And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ."

God has given us the ultimate promise of Christ and yet so many of us continue to live our lives moving through days as if they were burdens.  Caught in the fog of the every day, we have been blinded.  We don't even stop to recognize who we are, where we're headed, and how limited the time we have is.  We say we believe the words written in the Bible yet don't take them to heart. Why not?


We're all just trying to get by, get from point A to point B, be practical, make ends meet, simply survive.  Fairytales? Psh, please.  We're lucky if we get through the day without falling asleep from pure emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion...isn't that kind of sad?


I am by no means saying that you need to drop the bills you're paying, quit your job (even if you hate it), or drop out of college.  We live in a world where we need to do the every day things to continue and press on.  What I am trying to get across is that there is so much more to your story than those things.  That is merely the surface of your life not the meat of it.


God wants you to have life to the full.


[I came that they may have life and have it abundantly]
-John 10:10 
  
In a way doesn't it seem sometimes that our lives reflect the opposite? Monotony, lack of enthusiasm, lack of hope, or straight up fear of the future?


We know that a great life is possible and we yearn for it deep down but can't seem to reach it on our own.  Our hearts veiled by distractions, disappointments, set backs that continually repress notions of the life that the Bible promises for us.  Our hearts have been taken out.


Your veil could be threaded and woven with criticism of others and even of yourself. 
Your own reflection could be whispering lies.  
You have strayed too far, you will never be something, that you are destined to walk an empty road alone.  


Lies. We've become accustomed to them for so long that the strong shield of faith once protecting our passionate hearts is slowly being brought down in surrender to the world and into the acceptance of mediocrity.  


In Kisses for Katie, Katie Davis writes, "When I imagine God creating each one of us and planting a purpose deep in our hearts, I never imagined that purpose being mediocrity."

Mediocrity in the dreams we settle on.

Mediocrity in our careers.

Mediocrity in a routine relationship with God.

Mediocrity in empty love in dating relationships.

Embracing mediocrity in all of this, we accept a story less than the one we are meant for.  


Eyes clouded, we must look heavenward otherwise our heart can be stolen.  Our role can be lost.


"By taking out your heart, the enemy takes out you, and you are essential to the Story," John Eldredge writes. 


We mustn't lose heart in the midst of our fog for we are told something beautiful.  

"Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame."
-Psalm 34:5


Radiant are those who follow Him, seek Him, those who love Him, those who look to Him in hope and faith.  Knowing God means believing in His words of hope.  Believing them to be true not just for everyone else but for yourself makes your story a radiant work of His hand.  


This is where you will find your story turned around. By embracing His plan, you will find your purpose and your very own critical role weaved into the ultimate Story.

Dr. Rick Warren says, "You are not an accident.  Your parents may not have planned you, but God did. He wanted you alive and created you for a purpose.  Focusing on yourself will never reveal your purpose.  You were made by God and for God, and until you understand that, life will never make sense.  Only in God do we discover our origin, our identity, our meaning, our purpose, our significance, and our destiny."

Living life with a shrouded heart, you will never find the answer or fulfillment you're searching for . You don't hold the key to the abundant life, God does.  He extends His hand to anyone willing to take it and this holds true for every single one of us.

Attending a college worship night, I was reminded of a truth.  It doesn't matter where you've been, how far gone you seem to the world, where you wander to, how deep of a pit you dig for yourself.  God's grace is stronger and farther reaching than that.  He has the power to raise a life from the pits onto a rock, to give us that firm place to stand when waves crash against our souls to knock us off our feet (Psalm 40:2).

Gungors song "Beautiful Things" explores this transformative idea.

"You make beautiful things out of dust...You make beautiful things out of us...You make me new, You are making me new..."

I have seen this restoration. God's complete transformation of the heart.  

Turning a lost sheep of His into someone completely found in Him, life finally begins to make sense.  Drinking, drugs, hook-ups...it all loses appeal when exposed in the harsh lighting of God's truth.  Pain of the past can be shaken off and healed when we allow Him into our hurt. With the eyes of the heart enlightened, true clarity will be found (Ephesians 1:18).  The beautiful face of Grace who breathes life to dust makes each of us into something beautiful (Genesis 2:7). 

We are a new creation in Him, something grand created for a divine purpose.

Out of the dust, the darkness, the emptiness He brings us to stand in the light.  Into the beauty of His love, we now stand with full hearts ready to embrace our great role in His story.

C.S. Lewis pokes fun saying, "You thought you were going to be a decent little cottage but He is building a palace.." 

And this is what God does with you.  

A modest cottage into a palace of beauty.  

Someone asleep for many years transformed into a person awakened by love. 

A simple maid transformed into a princess.    

Mere dust into the crown jewel of Christ.

 


God is forever reaching out to us because He loves us and wants us to you He has chosen a role.  You have a part to play that impacts not only you but those around you and the coming Kingdom.  He has planted a deep rooted purpose in the core of your soul that you will only find when you seek Him with your whole heart and set out on the journey of this life with Him at your side (Matthew 7:7).


God may have you destined to be a famous author one day reaching millions but doubt and insecurities tear at your confidence in your writing and so you simply stop.
You might be set to be the president of a non-profit fighting for an issue of justice in this world that needs mending yet you doubt you have the courage to lead others and choose something easier.
You may have a deep set passion for missions overseas but fear and criticism from family or friends are holding you back from taking that step of faith and you choose a desk job you despise.


The thing is, you can miss God's will for your life if you aren't careful.


Katie Davis writes, "And if I remain comfortable. the God who loves us unconditionally will continue to love me anyway...I may still see His glory revealed in my life and recognize His blessings, but not like I could have.  I can miss the will of God."


Don't miss the amazing story God has written for you.  Do not settle.
Each one of us can do amazing things for this world if we begin trust in Jesus above this world and ourselves included.  We must believe in the Story He is weaving for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).


Stirring your heart to rise from the ashes into the light, your story is transformed and restored into one of great hope and not of sorrow.  
A story crafted by the Author beauty.
This is the magic found in fairytales but also the potential for your life within the greater Story unfolding all around if you'd only open your heart and lift your eyes to truly believe it.