Sometimes you have those services where you just know.
You just know that God wanted you personally to hear this specific message.
About a month ago, I went on a church retreat and the very first verse we studied was from 1 John and covered something I had been struggling with for some time but had yet to face.
1 John 1:6 says, "If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth."
Looking back on the past few years of my life, this statement rang truer than ever. My state of happiness had rested inside empty things which left me feeling cold and alone. I was walking in the darkness, ignorant and content to live inside my own cold shell, eager to be happy when things went just perfectly (almost never). I chose to stay distant from God because I couldn't let Him see the part of me I wanted hidden from the world...
The selfish, jealous, insecure me.
The me that I didn't even want to deal with, but that kept rising up in me every time I faced a challenge, a trial or someone who bent my self-esteem with their actions.
Today in church listening to Darren Whitehead speak, I realized that although I have a heck of a lot of room for growth in my relationship with God and my faith, He truly carried me out of the darkness I had created for myself. Though I still struggle daily, I have learned to look to Jesus.
I'm learning to look to His word as my guiding light, to set aside the noise thrown at me on a daily basis and to have faith in the mission God has put before me in the coming years.
I'm learning to seek out His will for my life and to simply to listen to His voice.
In forgiveness, I surrender my pride.
In fear, I trust His rod and staff which lead me on in courage (Psalm 23:4)
In love, I look to His example as my perfect model.
In hope, I soak in the words He has written in my heart to live by and live out.
It's not going to be an easy road following God...let me tell you.
People are going to laugh at you, tell you you're crazy, you can't, that you should give up.
That'd be easier wouldn't it? Just give up.
Go back to your old life where you were 'comfortable' dwelling in the darkness, where you back down from what's right because your comfort zone feels stretched, where you actually start to listen to the voices of negativity within your own head...
You start to ignore every homeless person because you're 'busy', stop returning the calls of a needy friend because it's annoying, you choose not to forgive because their actions cut you too deep, you stop reading the Bible because it's 'too religious' for your new image, you start swearing more because your friends do it, you date somebody who doesn't value a relationship with God, you start drinking because it's accepted at your college, you tell yourself you're unworthy of love because of your weight....
The list goes on but the Living Truth counteracts every single one.
Luke 1:37 says, "For nothing is impossible with God."
I have had so many people say to me it isn't normal to live the way I desire to.
To live by real morals, by real standards, by the Truth. To dream of a world where violence, , heartbreak, despair, hunger, and illness no longer run rampant.
My question now to myself and to you is:Why would you want to be normal? Do you really want to fit into this world? This crazy, scary, upside down place!!?
For the ones in high school and college: Do you really want to fall in step with a crowd giving pieces of themselves away to the first boy or girl who looks their way? Do you want to speak malicious words about another person that if they heard them would rip their heart straight out of their chest?
No.
I refuse to listen to those voices. They count, but not as much as the one Voice which goes above the crowd singing the most beautiful melody of grace over every single one of us who cares enough to listen.
We were born to be dreamers.
To step outside of society, to take chances, to live fearlessly, love recklessly, and to fall sometimes.
A true genuine Christian life isn't a road for the 'perfect religious folk'...it's for the dreamers.
My prayer for every single person reading this is:
Let the Truth overwhelm your heart and move you towards the life you were meant to live. We were meant to live for so much more than all of this. So speak God, draw us closer to the truth that lies beneath this broken, imperfect life. Let our hearts and eyes be fixed upon the heavens as we let your dreams fill our hearts and push us to action. When people shove aside the way we know is the right way to lead this life, remind us who is behind us watching, guiding and leading us every single day of this journey. You whisper truth into every lie, love into every hateful word, joy into every moment of despair. Help us to seek Your will in our everyday lives because Love alone is the prize we choose to chase. You've planted dreams behind our eyes and it is our choice to further the Kingdom. Heaven is the place we will envision as we live out the Love in our hearts to transform a world so far from the arms that hold it. In Jesus' name, amen.
"I believe even if it's just a dream..."
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