Whispers

"You call us here so we could find our purpose 

You bring us here, one body, to find rest 
You pull us close to you, close together 

So close we hear your whisper, feel your breath..." 

On Tuesday, God spoke.

Not in a booming voice or a storm, 

but in a whisper.

For the past three months I have been volunteering at The Rock Urban Ministries in Holland, Michigan.  Since arriving, I have been tutoring a boy in the sixth grade who I have loved getting to know and spending time with every week for 2 hours.  Coming into tutoring yesterday, I had no idea what God was about to say.


As I sat there listening to a message from Todd on a passage from Scripture, something about this message was different.  It was a teaching on Matthew 13 on the parable of the sower, which is a story I studied over the summer in my personal Bible study.  It struck me as I sat there and looked around the room how amazing it is that God is providing such wisdom into these kid's lives.  This entire staff is coming alongside these kids to guide them into the life God desires for each of them, away from the darkness that threatens many of these kids' futures.  I have seen firsthand how hard each one of them works to provide these kids with opportunities, with knowledge, with discipline, with tutoring, and above all, with love.


Ending the message, a boy volunteered to pray and for the first time, I could see that he was taking it seriously.  Bowing his head, he began and thanked God for keeping his family and others safe from harm and for the gift of God's love.  Every staff person in the room had their eyes on him and were smiling as they waited for him to continue.  The usual prayers to come out of these kids are not serious but more aimed at being funny and making the others laugh.


I knew God was teaching me and that He had been the entire school year.  I came to the full realization of what God was doing at this ministry as I saw it all unfold in the past three months and how His invisible hand was guiding each of these kids deeper into His love with every day.


Watching the students eat dinner, I noticed that the boy I tutor was in line for dinner. He had been absent last week and I decided to ask why.  Avoiding the question, he dodged me and quickly ran back to the homework room.  A bit confused, I followed.


We sat down at a circular table up against the wall and attempted the weekly struggle to get down to business with homework.  As usual, he was hilarious and I loved every minute of it, okay with the fact we were just enjoying the moment.


We got through his spanish vocabulary list eventually and that's when free time came around.
I asked him if it was ok if I asked him some questions for my research project and he excitedly agreed, smiling ear to ear and jumping out his chair.  We moved to the corner of the room while all the other kids shuffled out of the room.


I began asking him questions about school and slowly as I did this, he opened up.
Feeling ignored, undervalued, and discouraged were common feelings of his and this broke my heart.
Frustrations about teachers not paying attention to him in school eventually bridged over to family issues he was obviously hesitant to talk about.  I found myself enjoying finding out more about who he is and his story, moving from question to question as we moved deeper.  But as I sat there looking at him with his saddened eyes and an exposed heart, God nudged me.

SOCIAL WORK.


What I was doing at that moment was what I would be doing if I did Social Work...really God!? 


Having been praying these past few weeks for guidance to discern where God desires me to go, this was kind of crazy for me!  I can serve God by helping kids and others through the difficult storms life brings through.


In leaving that day, I felt amazed once again at how God weaves things into our lives according to His plan.  


I would not have had this experience if I hadn't been in that section of English 113, 
I would not have gotten to know the boy that I tutor, 
I couldn't have seen God at work at The Rock...


When God whispers, it is a reminder to me that I need to start listening.  We need to start listening..  

{ Whether you turn to the right or to the left, 

your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 

"This is the way; walk in it."} 

 -Isaiah 30:21 }

So busy and stressed, I often forget to watch and wait for Him to take action or to speak.
I often times miss out on what He wants to show me because I am so set on my own way of doing things that almost always leaves me shattered.
I've learned that in listening to God and in consistent prayer for His will in our lives, Jesus will fill the silence and our daily lives with whispers to guide us along the path He lights for us to follow Him.




God, 
You are more beautiful than words my mouth can speak, my voice can sing, and my fingers can write.  You whisper of ways so far beyond this world, so unbelievably beautiful they make my heart shine of the hope I have in You to lead me to the life I'm meant to live.  May I learn to seek out and listen to Your whispers for guidance onto this path I am catching glimpses of. May my life be a blazing offering, fully devoted to sharing God's unending love in others' lives. In Your holy and righteous name, Amen.

                                                                                                                        

"More than I need 

  More than your love. 

More than I need, 

More than enough 

Are your words, oh God 

And all that I am, 

All that I have are your words...

                                                                                                                    You have my attention.." 

                                                                                                         -Knowhope Collective