"You're the hope of a new sunrise breaking over a desperate life.."-Sanctus Real
Urgency. Desparation. Passion. Where has it gone?
Why do we live our lives day to day as if we have forever...
To live the life of our wildest dreams.
To live a life with fire in our core.
To love God and His children with reckless abandon.
To surrender every wicked dark thing we hold onto with cold hearts.
To let forgiveness flow from our lips for the ones who have wounded us.
To give everything we have and expect nothing in return
To chase after God with so much passion and fire that we can barely stop ourselves from running over the edge of the Earth for His name.
Yesterday, I could see the scenes of my life flashing before my eyes.
Not because I was crossing through the tunnel between life and death, but because of a situation I came into contact with. There is someone who I have known my entire life who is sick. So sick people are fearing she could die due to the complications occurring inside of her body at this very moment. Driving over to her house yesterday, I began to pray with desparation in my heart that God would work a miracle inside of her. To heal her medical condition and above all, provide her with a clean escape from the life of addiction and heartache she had crashed into because of a string of bad choices.
Leaving, I closed the door behind me and walked to my car, praying more for her. Praying hard for her life.
In all honesty, I hadn't prayed passionately and without abandon many times in my life...and that's when I began to question myself.
How could I be living, praying, and LOVING without a spirit of urgency, desparation and passion? My days here are no more guaranteed than any other person on this Earth and yet I continue to live in a comfortable state as if my time here will never end and I'll have plenty of time to start living the life I truly desire to lead.
In the song, "Always", Switchfoot sings, "Every breath is a second chance."
Hear that?!
Every breath we breathe we make a CHOICE.
A choice to Love recklessly with joy in our hearts, a choice to Worship freely and lift our hands to the God who has given us life, a choice to Glorify and Honor the God where grace and mercy freely pours into the darkest crevices of our hearts. He has given us one chance to get this life right. Not two, five or ten...but ONE. It is up to you how much of it will turn out.
Lord, place in my spirit an unquentiable desire to know You more.
Push me to love deeper,
to speak every word with grace,
to forgive every hurtful thing that chips away at my pride,
to send my love to those who are broken and crying out to You on their knees,
to train my eyes to seek only after You.
Let the story of my life sing to You with a cry of urgency, desparation and passion to be a light for Your great cause in this world,
Amen.
"You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart..." -Jeremiah 29:13
If I choose to, I know I will never regret a life chasing after His heart and neither will you.
"So come with me I’ll show you life even better than this. Come with me I’ll show you love you didn’t know could exist."
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Loving yourself
"Love will make you beautiful..." -The Afters
A few weeks ago, I attended the last retreat of my high school career. To be honest, I needed it more than ever. I was at such a low point with my heart being in the wrong place in the weeks leading up to it and being able to attend was beyond amazing.
The words spoken on that retreat were words of healing. Words of grace. Words of forgiveness. Words of TRUTH straight from God that I desperately needed to hear spoken through worship...speakers...leaders... my friends.
"Our biggest fear is that others see us the way that we see ourselves..." Josh Reibock said scanning the audience.
I felt like he had spoken soley to me and immediately felt like disappearing into the back of the auditorium. This was the last session of the trip and the words unraveled me...and it STUNG.
Ouch.
I had a conversation with one of my best friends earlier that day about the battles I'd been waging within my heart for a long time. Broken down by people disappearing, a hole in my life with their abcense, I felt so alone even with a strong support network around me every step of the way...
Have you ever felt like that? Surrounded by a sea of people (even ones who love, care, and respect you) and feeling like nobody wants to be around you. You think people are seeing you how you see yourself. And let me tell you something...this past year the view I had of myself was low. Not good enough, not nice to her family, selfish, not pretty enough, too prideful, not living up to God's expectations...heck even my own expectations for me. Being around groups of people was difficult at times...I felt like people's eyes immediately saw through the "Taylor happy act" and would see the shattered girl I didn't want anyone to see...especially God.
It was a pity party, party of 1 for Taylor!!
I invited myself to this pity party every time someone wronged me or I messed up. I would blame myself for others' hurtful actions, sure it was my own shortcomings that were to blame. Talking to a friend today, we had a beautiful conversation about God's view of someone struggling with insecurity. insightful into the reason for issues I had been having with myself.
"You are living in the prison of yourself."
It is the truth. I had created a world in my head filled to the brim with FEAR.
Fear of people getting to knowing the real me and then simply leaving my life once I had opened the door to my heart even just a sliver...but these are lies.
For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago..." -Ephesians 2:10
All the issues I had within myself about body-image, personality, fitting in etc. were all things God looks beyond. He created us to love Him first but to do this fully, we must love ourselves. There is no exception to this.
This was something I have had trouble coming to terms with because it's easy to think that your problems disappear with time...but they do not. My entire life I always thought the issues I had with my frightenly low self-esteem would somehow spiral upward throughout grade school...middle school...high school...so I never did a thing about it and it continued to worsen...until now I'm beginning to see that God looks at our hearts for where we stand in this life.
Not on our physical beauty or handsomeness.
Not our bubbly personalities.
Not our income.
Not on our all-star baseball batting records.
Not our Harvard-worthy GPA's.
1 Samuel 16:7 - "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
Yes, me must deny ourselves to fully follow His ways but without respect and love for what He created, it dishonors His creation. You must learn to see yourself as an instrument for peace, to carry out the work He has given you within your life and to do everything out of love.
Love for God, love for others and out of LOVE for yourself as you learn to walk humbly with God. Love will make you beautiful but only if you allow it to penetrate the deepest fears carried in your own heart.
"Only when we raise our faith can we begin to serve ourselves..." -A friend
A few weeks ago, I attended the last retreat of my high school career. To be honest, I needed it more than ever. I was at such a low point with my heart being in the wrong place in the weeks leading up to it and being able to attend was beyond amazing.
The words spoken on that retreat were words of healing. Words of grace. Words of forgiveness. Words of TRUTH straight from God that I desperately needed to hear spoken through worship...speakers...leaders... my friends.
"Our biggest fear is that others see us the way that we see ourselves..." Josh Reibock said scanning the audience.
I felt like he had spoken soley to me and immediately felt like disappearing into the back of the auditorium. This was the last session of the trip and the words unraveled me...and it STUNG.
Ouch.
I had a conversation with one of my best friends earlier that day about the battles I'd been waging within my heart for a long time. Broken down by people disappearing, a hole in my life with their abcense, I felt so alone even with a strong support network around me every step of the way...
Have you ever felt like that? Surrounded by a sea of people (even ones who love, care, and respect you) and feeling like nobody wants to be around you. You think people are seeing you how you see yourself. And let me tell you something...this past year the view I had of myself was low. Not good enough, not nice to her family, selfish, not pretty enough, too prideful, not living up to God's expectations...heck even my own expectations for me. Being around groups of people was difficult at times...I felt like people's eyes immediately saw through the "Taylor happy act" and would see the shattered girl I didn't want anyone to see...especially God.
It was a pity party, party of 1 for Taylor!!
I invited myself to this pity party every time someone wronged me or I messed up. I would blame myself for others' hurtful actions, sure it was my own shortcomings that were to blame. Talking to a friend today, we had a beautiful conversation about God's view of someone struggling with insecurity. insightful into the reason for issues I had been having with myself.
"You are living in the prison of yourself."
It is the truth. I had created a world in my head filled to the brim with FEAR.
Fear of people getting to knowing the real me and then simply leaving my life once I had opened the door to my heart even just a sliver...but these are lies.
For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago..." -Ephesians 2:10
All the issues I had within myself about body-image, personality, fitting in etc. were all things God looks beyond. He created us to love Him first but to do this fully, we must love ourselves. There is no exception to this.
This was something I have had trouble coming to terms with because it's easy to think that your problems disappear with time...but they do not. My entire life I always thought the issues I had with my frightenly low self-esteem would somehow spiral upward throughout grade school...middle school...high school...so I never did a thing about it and it continued to worsen...until now I'm beginning to see that God looks at our hearts for where we stand in this life.
Not on our physical beauty or handsomeness.
Not our bubbly personalities.
Not our income.
Not on our all-star baseball batting records.
Not our Harvard-worthy GPA's.
1 Samuel 16:7 - "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
Yes, me must deny ourselves to fully follow His ways but without respect and love for what He created, it dishonors His creation. You must learn to see yourself as an instrument for peace, to carry out the work He has given you within your life and to do everything out of love.
Love for God, love for others and out of LOVE for yourself as you learn to walk humbly with God. Love will make you beautiful but only if you allow it to penetrate the deepest fears carried in your own heart.
"Only when we raise our faith can we begin to serve ourselves..." -A friend
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Lines of love
Sometimes we forget.
We forget how we have all fallen from grace. We let what He's done for us slip through our minds. We allow the world to shape us instead of His holy words of guidance and love... It is so easy to do when you let your heart wander.
I myself have fallen victim to it. Looking at the surface of words in the Bible and letting myself off the hook too easy with a broad range of things in my life.
"I'm pretty decent. I NEVER murder, steal, committ adultery....I'm nice to strangers and I sure as heck don't committ adultery...," I say.
On a surface level basis, these things are true...BUT Jesus calls us deeper...much much deeper.
Tonight at a gathering at Axis in South Barrington, a friend and I sat and listened to a sermon on "Grey Areas of the Bible".
Me: "I bet they're going to cover gay marriage!"
Kristin: "Yea, I bet they will!"
Nope. Double negative on that one. The speaker gave life to a picture of what God has done for us, drawing lines for us to not only abide by but to live and breathe His love out in our lives, really exploring the heart of it all.
As Christians, it can be easy to write off our motives as good and purely for God....but are they really?
Do you do good to be seen by people on this Earth or for Him?
Do you do the right thing because you HAVE to or because it is an expression of God's love through you? Do you take the time to humble yourself before God with every great thing you have achieved, all that you are because He deserves the credit or are you pointing at your reflection?
Do you hold judgement over people who have done things seen as wrong according to the Bible, not even making the effort to know their story before you JUMP to conclusions? **I'm totally Guilty on this one**
Do you refrain from gossip with friends and then let the malicious words spill over into a conversation with your mom?
At the heart of Christianity, there lies a verse.
"Love the lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul and, with all your mind." -Matthew 22:37
God brought something to light this evening, an insight into this life and it's this...
We will know which actions are right in His eyes by the love shown at the heart of it all.
We will live His words out by loving others well. Period. End of story.
Wow, really? It's that simple?
Think about it.
This life revolves around relationships.
#1 Your relationship with Jesus
#2 Your relationship with yourself
#3 Your family relationships (spouse, mom, dad, sister etc)
#4 Your friends
#5 Every stranger you care enough to lift to be a #4
Love is found behind every word in the Bible and is the foundation for a life lived to the fullest in Him.
It may take stepping out. Separating yourself from the crowd...your friends...your closest family....your boyfriend or girlfriend...maybe even your Christian community or youth group. Gossip, jealousy, greed, impatience, judgement....it's all there. Where is your heart in the midst of it all? Is it with God?
Mine sure isn't sometimes but that doesn't mean I'm going to give up.
The core of Jesus' character is love. Simple as that.
Invisible are the lines He draws in our hearts to lead us home. We obey not to recieve anything but out of Love. We uphold each other in weakness and bring the lost to You, without pride but a humble heart...
Pushing each other on to love God fully with everything we have means truly loving people deeply and following the laws written in the deepest core of our hearts.
"This is the new covenant I will make with my people on that day, says the Lord: I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds." -Hebrews 10:16
We forget how we have all fallen from grace. We let what He's done for us slip through our minds. We allow the world to shape us instead of His holy words of guidance and love... It is so easy to do when you let your heart wander.
I myself have fallen victim to it. Looking at the surface of words in the Bible and letting myself off the hook too easy with a broad range of things in my life.
"I'm pretty decent. I NEVER murder, steal, committ adultery....I'm nice to strangers and I sure as heck don't committ adultery...," I say.
On a surface level basis, these things are true...BUT Jesus calls us deeper...much much deeper.
Tonight at a gathering at Axis in South Barrington, a friend and I sat and listened to a sermon on "Grey Areas of the Bible".
Me: "I bet they're going to cover gay marriage!"
Kristin: "Yea, I bet they will!"
Nope. Double negative on that one. The speaker gave life to a picture of what God has done for us, drawing lines for us to not only abide by but to live and breathe His love out in our lives, really exploring the heart of it all.
As Christians, it can be easy to write off our motives as good and purely for God....but are they really?
Do you do good to be seen by people on this Earth or for Him?
Do you do the right thing because you HAVE to or because it is an expression of God's love through you? Do you take the time to humble yourself before God with every great thing you have achieved, all that you are because He deserves the credit or are you pointing at your reflection?
Do you hold judgement over people who have done things seen as wrong according to the Bible, not even making the effort to know their story before you JUMP to conclusions? **I'm totally Guilty on this one**
Do you refrain from gossip with friends and then let the malicious words spill over into a conversation with your mom?
At the heart of Christianity, there lies a verse.
"Love the lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul and, with all your mind." -Matthew 22:37
God brought something to light this evening, an insight into this life and it's this...
We will know which actions are right in His eyes by the love shown at the heart of it all.
We will live His words out by loving others well. Period. End of story.
Wow, really? It's that simple?
Think about it.
This life revolves around relationships.
#1 Your relationship with Jesus
#2 Your relationship with yourself
#3 Your family relationships (spouse, mom, dad, sister etc)
#4 Your friends
#5 Every stranger you care enough to lift to be a #4
Love is found behind every word in the Bible and is the foundation for a life lived to the fullest in Him.
It may take stepping out. Separating yourself from the crowd...your friends...your closest family....your boyfriend or girlfriend...maybe even your Christian community or youth group. Gossip, jealousy, greed, impatience, judgement....it's all there. Where is your heart in the midst of it all? Is it with God?
Mine sure isn't sometimes but that doesn't mean I'm going to give up.
The core of Jesus' character is love. Simple as that.
Invisible are the lines He draws in our hearts to lead us home. We obey not to recieve anything but out of Love. We uphold each other in weakness and bring the lost to You, without pride but a humble heart...
Pushing each other on to love God fully with everything we have means truly loving people deeply and following the laws written in the deepest core of our hearts.
"This is the new covenant I will make with my people on that day, says the Lord: I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds." -Hebrews 10:16
Weight of the world
"I know the weight of this world can take you down like gravity...." -Tenth Avenue North
It hurts. Thinking about everything.
Okay. I'll break out of my vague little bubble here...
Have you ever felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders?
Illness, teen depression, alchoholism, poverty, suicide, shattered self-image, starvation....
Don't freak out, these things are not ALL my issues but they're just a few of this worlds'.
I could go on and on and on and on and probably never be able to list all of the problems that need to be fixed...
But yesterday as I was driving with my mom, my heart began to ache. We were discussing a friend of hers who has fallen. Fallen away from her family, her marriage and a happy life. She is extremely sick and without hope...and every single person except for 1 or 2 have completely given up on her...and I began to think of ways we could turn her life around..but came up empty.
My thought is this...we only have this tiny little life which is basically no more than the smallest, insignificant spec in history to help other people and make this world into a better place. Yet God is in us and He cares and wants the most full and wonderful life for every single one of us...but not everyone can get there on their own.
Too many people to help and too little time. I could list over 15 friends/people in my life that I feel I haven't invested enough time in. I have some relationships I've given up on because they proved to be a painful challenge where forgiveness hasn't easily come from my lips.
It instantly brought a deep sadness over me as I began to wonder if so many of the people in this world who are seeking out help may never get what they need...even people in my own life.
They may never find that friend to share their hearts with, a job to cover their bills, a place to rest their head at night, a stable life with their family, a chance to live out a dream, children to love and care for, or the most important of all, a solid relationship with Christ.
I instantly realized how much God had shielded me from over the course of my life and how much His grace had made a way FOR as I continue to follow in His steps.
Psalm 91:4 says, "He will cover you with his wings; you will be safe in his care; his faithfulness will protect and defend you."
God was guiding me through the dark, weaving a path through my tumultuous highschool years...shielding and gracefully setting my heart in a relatively safe place than where it might have been if I had stepped out all alone. He was building a foundation in me that helped me to trust solely in the perfect God that He is and less on people around me.
Last year, I had put so much of my trust in people, expecting every single one to live up to my high expectations....only to end up free-falling deeper into a darkness I couldn't shake every time somebody let me down.
Here's my message to all of you: IT'S TIME TO SHAKE IT OFF!!!
Sorry to be blunt, but it is!!
Reading my bible this morning, God pointed me to a verse that I needed to hear so badly after yesterday night...
"The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few, therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of harvest to send out laborers into his harvest..." -Matthew 9:37-38.
Though there are millions in this world who are struggling to survive, there ARE people out there trying to pour God's love BACK into the broken hearts and dreams of this world. You are just one person but making a difference in even one life during the course of yours is reason for the angels to REJOICE!!
Never feel like YOU have to take on the worlds' struggles because God is a God of perfect peace. He has given us a place to lay our burdens and that is on Him. The only thing we can do is pray for more leaders to be born and brought into this world for His cause, so that other people will finally SEE and ACT on what needs to be done for this world to change once and for all.
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid..." -John 14:27
God, let Your strength calm our fears and remind us that You have things under control and You will use us in great ways if we let you into our hearts.
It hurts. Thinking about everything.
Okay. I'll break out of my vague little bubble here...
Have you ever felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders?
Illness, teen depression, alchoholism, poverty, suicide, shattered self-image, starvation....
Don't freak out, these things are not ALL my issues but they're just a few of this worlds'.
I could go on and on and on and on and probably never be able to list all of the problems that need to be fixed...
But yesterday as I was driving with my mom, my heart began to ache. We were discussing a friend of hers who has fallen. Fallen away from her family, her marriage and a happy life. She is extremely sick and without hope...and every single person except for 1 or 2 have completely given up on her...and I began to think of ways we could turn her life around..but came up empty.
My thought is this...we only have this tiny little life which is basically no more than the smallest, insignificant spec in history to help other people and make this world into a better place. Yet God is in us and He cares and wants the most full and wonderful life for every single one of us...but not everyone can get there on their own.
Too many people to help and too little time. I could list over 15 friends/people in my life that I feel I haven't invested enough time in. I have some relationships I've given up on because they proved to be a painful challenge where forgiveness hasn't easily come from my lips.
It instantly brought a deep sadness over me as I began to wonder if so many of the people in this world who are seeking out help may never get what they need...even people in my own life.
They may never find that friend to share their hearts with, a job to cover their bills, a place to rest their head at night, a stable life with their family, a chance to live out a dream, children to love and care for, or the most important of all, a solid relationship with Christ.
I instantly realized how much God had shielded me from over the course of my life and how much His grace had made a way FOR as I continue to follow in His steps.
Psalm 91:4 says, "He will cover you with his wings; you will be safe in his care; his faithfulness will protect and defend you."
God was guiding me through the dark, weaving a path through my tumultuous highschool years...shielding and gracefully setting my heart in a relatively safe place than where it might have been if I had stepped out all alone. He was building a foundation in me that helped me to trust solely in the perfect God that He is and less on people around me.
Last year, I had put so much of my trust in people, expecting every single one to live up to my high expectations....only to end up free-falling deeper into a darkness I couldn't shake every time somebody let me down.
Here's my message to all of you: IT'S TIME TO SHAKE IT OFF!!!
Sorry to be blunt, but it is!!
Reading my bible this morning, God pointed me to a verse that I needed to hear so badly after yesterday night...
"The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few, therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of harvest to send out laborers into his harvest..." -Matthew 9:37-38.
Though there are millions in this world who are struggling to survive, there ARE people out there trying to pour God's love BACK into the broken hearts and dreams of this world. You are just one person but making a difference in even one life during the course of yours is reason for the angels to REJOICE!!
Never feel like YOU have to take on the worlds' struggles because God is a God of perfect peace. He has given us a place to lay our burdens and that is on Him. The only thing we can do is pray for more leaders to be born and brought into this world for His cause, so that other people will finally SEE and ACT on what needs to be done for this world to change once and for all.
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid..." -John 14:27
God, let Your strength calm our fears and remind us that You have things under control and You will use us in great ways if we let you into our hearts.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Time to rise.
You CAN'T be different.
You CAN'T stay pure until marriage (I've had people literally laugh in my face about this one)
You CAN'T be happy unless you have (fill in the blank), (fill in the blank) and blankety blank.
You CAN'T be okay with your body image because it isn't flipping Hollywood, Shape magazine worthy
You CAN'T say God is REAL after what this messed up world looks like with wars, murders, shootings, greed, natural disasters, abductions, and all the evil
You CAN'T follow God in this generation, that is impossible.
You CAN'T live a life that glorifies Him.
You NEED to make a ton of money to ever find happiness
You CAN'T believe true love is real when the divorce rate in America is over 50%
You CAN'T stay true to God's promises.
What if I came up to you, looked you straight in the eye and said every one of these untruthful things? You'd call me a liar right?
This is what the world screams at us. Every. Single. Day.
The people around us, the news, the internet, the media...Oh my goodness the media!!
Gladly for us, God responds with words which cut straight through the heart of the lies.
For happiness, God responds with Psalm 37:4
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart."
For purity, He calls out to us with 1 Corinthians 6:18"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body."
For body-image, He responds with 1 Samuel 16:7
“Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
For worldly tribulation, He calls back with Psalm 46:1-3,7
"Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stronghold."
For being a devoted follower, Jesus responds with John 8:31-32
“If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”
Even in the midst of this sometimes shadowy world, the truth is always present. God has been speaking to me a lot these days through signs and different people who have come into my life because I've opened myself up to experiencing Him daily.
As I was commuting this morning, I had a lot of time to reflect with God and myself. Yesterday, it was sky time-:) - and today it was music! A certain song hit me FULL ON. BAM. Train collision in my heart. The lyrics gave me chills as I began to imagine a world where those with God at the center of their hearts began to act on it and break out of the lives we've settled into so comfortably.
"We will hold, we will love
We will fall in surrender
We will rise, we will run
We will live to declare Your Name
Forever to bring You praise..." -"Rise" by Hillsong
NOW is the time to rise. The time to share your faith with the people around you. Shine the light. Carry the banner for a greater cause. Seek out the passion God puts with a burning fire in your heart. Stop letting your surroundings and doubt dictate how you live and how you run after God and His mission for your life. Time is something many of us tend to take for granted because we always think we have SO much of it but there's never been a better time to change this world than right at this moment. This generation has the divine tools it needs to begin a revival of what is real and true in this world.
"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.' -2 Corinthians 10:4
We need to shine into this world and we do have the tools!! When you live for something greater, God shines so brightly through your words, your good deeds, your actions, your relationships and most importantly, your heart. The only opportunity so many in this world will ever have to see Him is through YOU.
It's time to change your world, are you ready to take that step into the unknown? Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "Faith means taking the first step even when you cannot see the whole staircase."
God will strengthen and uphold you through whatever this world can throw at you. His promises are the only truth we need to stand on. Psalm 1:6 says, "For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish."
So BRING IT ON!
"Swing the doors wider, sound the praise louder, lift the Name higher, shine the light brighter..." -Hillsong United
You CAN'T stay pure until marriage (I've had people literally laugh in my face about this one)
You CAN'T be happy unless you have (fill in the blank), (fill in the blank) and blankety blank.
You CAN'T be okay with your body image because it isn't flipping Hollywood, Shape magazine worthy
You CAN'T say God is REAL after what this messed up world looks like with wars, murders, shootings, greed, natural disasters, abductions, and all the evil
You CAN'T follow God in this generation, that is impossible.
You CAN'T live a life that glorifies Him.
You NEED to make a ton of money to ever find happiness
You CAN'T believe true love is real when the divorce rate in America is over 50%
You CAN'T stay true to God's promises.
What if I came up to you, looked you straight in the eye and said every one of these untruthful things? You'd call me a liar right?
This is what the world screams at us. Every. Single. Day.
The people around us, the news, the internet, the media...Oh my goodness the media!!
Gladly for us, God responds with words which cut straight through the heart of the lies.
For happiness, God responds with Psalm 37:4
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart."
For purity, He calls out to us with 1 Corinthians 6:18"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body."
For body-image, He responds with 1 Samuel 16:7
“Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
For worldly tribulation, He calls back with Psalm 46:1-3,7
"Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stronghold."
For being a devoted follower, Jesus responds with John 8:31-32
“If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”
Even in the midst of this sometimes shadowy world, the truth is always present. God has been speaking to me a lot these days through signs and different people who have come into my life because I've opened myself up to experiencing Him daily.
As I was commuting this morning, I had a lot of time to reflect with God and myself. Yesterday, it was sky time-:) - and today it was music! A certain song hit me FULL ON. BAM. Train collision in my heart. The lyrics gave me chills as I began to imagine a world where those with God at the center of their hearts began to act on it and break out of the lives we've settled into so comfortably.
"We will hold, we will love
We will fall in surrender
We will rise, we will run
We will live to declare Your Name
Forever to bring You praise..." -"Rise" by Hillsong
NOW is the time to rise. The time to share your faith with the people around you. Shine the light. Carry the banner for a greater cause. Seek out the passion God puts with a burning fire in your heart. Stop letting your surroundings and doubt dictate how you live and how you run after God and His mission for your life. Time is something many of us tend to take for granted because we always think we have SO much of it but there's never been a better time to change this world than right at this moment. This generation has the divine tools it needs to begin a revival of what is real and true in this world.
"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.' -2 Corinthians 10:4
We need to shine into this world and we do have the tools!! When you live for something greater, God shines so brightly through your words, your good deeds, your actions, your relationships and most importantly, your heart. The only opportunity so many in this world will ever have to see Him is through YOU.
It's time to change your world, are you ready to take that step into the unknown? Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "Faith means taking the first step even when you cannot see the whole staircase."
God will strengthen and uphold you through whatever this world can throw at you. His promises are the only truth we need to stand on. Psalm 1:6 says, "For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish."
So BRING IT ON!
"Swing the doors wider, sound the praise louder, lift the Name higher, shine the light brighter..." -Hillsong United
Monday, July 25, 2011
Unselfish surrender
I swung the door of my heart open to God today. What did I discover about myself?
SELFISH. SELFISH. SELFISH.
Yep. *All fingers point right at this girl*
A life fully devoted to Christ means giving up who you once were. Why is this SO HARD to do?? We have been taught in this generation to revolve our existence around ourselves and what would make us happier. Unfortunately the Bible points to someone a tiny bit more worthy of our existence revolving.
John 3:30 says, "He must increase, and I must decrease."
Luke 9:23-25 says, "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me...For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?"
Phillipians 3:8 says, "What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ."
All these verses sound just fabulouss. And I'm not saying they aren't great, but as Christians do we take enough time to truly understand them, practice them, live them out? I sure feel like I don't a lot of the time.
We are called to lift up our lives to God so that He may use them in whatever way He sees fit...yet I continually find myself nearly wrestling with God to hold onto what I WANT to keep in my possession. A handle on my issues with body-image, always getting my way, making time for ME and my glorious short-lived life on this Earth.
He has a perfect plan already made that transcends my own understanding of good and bad for my life...yet I still harbor fear that I'll end up rejected, alone, old and by myself? Sounds crazy, but that's how I think sometimes!!
I have seen glimpses very recently of the beautiful life I could potentially have if I let Him have me. Not just a piece of me but totally surrendered and all IN...yet I keep pulling away, afraid to totally release everything I have for the One who deserves every last ounce of what I have to give and MORE.
Unselfish surrender is a choice we have to make EVERY SINGLE DAY. It isn't a choice we make once and get a "get out of jail free card". It requires diligence and unwavoring strength. Not the type of strength we get on our own but the kind that we recieve by peering into the heavens...
Driving along to work this morning, the sun was intense. Blinding. Super annoying.
I glanced up at the sky and was shocked by the black cloud that was hovering over the city of Glenview and the sky was about to split open.
Having the sky obcession that I do...I noticed something beautiful. Peaking out between the clouds were rays of light. Rays of light reaching down from heaven. Donning my glasses for a moment, the light seemed to disappear and the clouds returned. Disappointed, I realized that this is a lot like our lives...being caught up in a wordly way of seeing things where dark clouds, negative thoughts and broken things dominate our minds and our hearts, the light becoming lost in the darkness of our souls.
God's perfect love heals our our shattered selfish dreams for this life and plants hope in our hearts. He knows that we have selfish ambitions because that is the nature of who we have become, but that doesn't mean He accepts it as final. His light reaches down to touch anyone who chooses to see it, and all we have to do is look outside of our car window to be reminded of that...black fake ray-bans in hand.
He offers us a new life, one where He is the focus and our identity is rooted in Him and His great love for us.
We are God's beloved creation and He has revealed to us our mission in life to serve Him.
So WHAT are you going to do about it? Live a temporary easier life for YOU or for God who presents you with a holy invitation to a life of matchless beauty and hope?
I know what I want to choose.
1 Peter 2:9 - "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."
SELFISH. SELFISH. SELFISH.
Yep. *All fingers point right at this girl*
A life fully devoted to Christ means giving up who you once were. Why is this SO HARD to do?? We have been taught in this generation to revolve our existence around ourselves and what would make us happier. Unfortunately the Bible points to someone a tiny bit more worthy of our existence revolving.
John 3:30 says, "He must increase, and I must decrease."
Luke 9:23-25 says, "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me...For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?"
Phillipians 3:8 says, "What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ."
All these verses sound just fabulouss. And I'm not saying they aren't great, but as Christians do we take enough time to truly understand them, practice them, live them out? I sure feel like I don't a lot of the time.
We are called to lift up our lives to God so that He may use them in whatever way He sees fit...yet I continually find myself nearly wrestling with God to hold onto what I WANT to keep in my possession. A handle on my issues with body-image, always getting my way, making time for ME and my glorious short-lived life on this Earth.
He has a perfect plan already made that transcends my own understanding of good and bad for my life...yet I still harbor fear that I'll end up rejected, alone, old and by myself? Sounds crazy, but that's how I think sometimes!!
I have seen glimpses very recently of the beautiful life I could potentially have if I let Him have me. Not just a piece of me but totally surrendered and all IN...yet I keep pulling away, afraid to totally release everything I have for the One who deserves every last ounce of what I have to give and MORE.
Unselfish surrender is a choice we have to make EVERY SINGLE DAY. It isn't a choice we make once and get a "get out of jail free card". It requires diligence and unwavoring strength. Not the type of strength we get on our own but the kind that we recieve by peering into the heavens...
Driving along to work this morning, the sun was intense. Blinding. Super annoying.
I glanced up at the sky and was shocked by the black cloud that was hovering over the city of Glenview and the sky was about to split open.
Having the sky obcession that I do...I noticed something beautiful. Peaking out between the clouds were rays of light. Rays of light reaching down from heaven. Donning my glasses for a moment, the light seemed to disappear and the clouds returned. Disappointed, I realized that this is a lot like our lives...being caught up in a wordly way of seeing things where dark clouds, negative thoughts and broken things dominate our minds and our hearts, the light becoming lost in the darkness of our souls.
God's perfect love heals our our shattered selfish dreams for this life and plants hope in our hearts. He knows that we have selfish ambitions because that is the nature of who we have become, but that doesn't mean He accepts it as final. His light reaches down to touch anyone who chooses to see it, and all we have to do is look outside of our car window to be reminded of that...black fake ray-bans in hand.
He offers us a new life, one where He is the focus and our identity is rooted in Him and His great love for us.
We are God's beloved creation and He has revealed to us our mission in life to serve Him.
So WHAT are you going to do about it? Live a temporary easier life for YOU or for God who presents you with a holy invitation to a life of matchless beauty and hope?
I know what I want to choose.
1 Peter 2:9 - "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Called to be different
I am different.
I love drinking hot coffee on an 80 degree day.
I'm obcessed with Panera and I eat there 4+ days a week.
I'm kind of a health nut...okay a supperr health nut.
I'm 18 years old (finally) and have always felt out of place.
I hate compliments a lot...
I have never drank or smoked throughout high school.
I have friends from all different groups, faiths, and backgrounds.
I'm 5'10'' and hate my tallness.
But above all I love God and everything that He is and stands for. His grace and mercy in my broken life is something I'm not sure if I'll ever fully comprehend. His love is teaching me and transforming me from the inside out with every passing day and making me new.
2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."
As Christians, I believe we've been called to be different. To make a difference with this life whether that's to change the world on a global scale or to impact one other person. Reach out to that person in your life who needs guidance. Love those who have hurt you as God loves you. Through His love, we have been made new and the old is fading into the background.
Hold fast to your beliefs, your morals, your code. God has called us to believe and to shine into a world caught up in the darkness we've created for ourselves.
Called to live His love out in our lives, we need to be different than what the world wants for us.
So live your life without holding back, love without fear and recognize that YOU were born for a reason. YOU are loved. YOU are called to be different.
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." -Romans 12:2
I love drinking hot coffee on an 80 degree day.
I'm obcessed with Panera and I eat there 4+ days a week.
I'm kind of a health nut...okay a supperr health nut.
I'm 18 years old (finally) and have always felt out of place.
I hate compliments a lot...
I have never drank or smoked throughout high school.
I have friends from all different groups, faiths, and backgrounds.
I'm 5'10'' and hate my tallness.
But above all I love God and everything that He is and stands for. His grace and mercy in my broken life is something I'm not sure if I'll ever fully comprehend. His love is teaching me and transforming me from the inside out with every passing day and making me new.
2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."
As Christians, I believe we've been called to be different. To make a difference with this life whether that's to change the world on a global scale or to impact one other person. Reach out to that person in your life who needs guidance. Love those who have hurt you as God loves you. Through His love, we have been made new and the old is fading into the background.
Hold fast to your beliefs, your morals, your code. God has called us to believe and to shine into a world caught up in the darkness we've created for ourselves.
Called to live His love out in our lives, we need to be different than what the world wants for us.
So live your life without holding back, love without fear and recognize that YOU were born for a reason. YOU are loved. YOU are called to be different.
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." -Romans 12:2
A guarded heart vs. a closed heart
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23
Today, I began to think in church today. "Amazing Grace" came on and immediately I became lost in the music.
"My chains are gone, I've been set free..."
It pierced the center of my heart realizing what I did at that moment. I began to think about how I had felt in my life for so long. Chained to the demons in my heart which seemed to crush my confidence in God and in myself.
I began to wonder what the difference was between guarding your heart from the things of this world which threaten us daily and completely putting up a solid wall to keep people and God out. I know that for some time now, I've been living with a nice thick and sometimes unpenetrable wall. Bitter, angry, upset with myself that I couldn't express the emotions swirling around in my soul.
This particular verse above brings to mind the idea that protecting your heart will always lead to good things...Though I do agree with this verse, it can be a hard thing to truly grasp. How do we protect this priceless, valuable heart that we've been given? Choosing our friends wiser? Not entering into serious relationships too young? Not watching unrealistic romantic movies paint a fairytale?
No. I think protecting your heart stems from your personal relationship with God. He resides within each of us, his angels guiding and protecting us from evil. Psalm 34:7 says, "The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him and delivers him."
In truth, my life has been defined by guarding myself and protecting myself from hurt. Instead of relying solely on Him, I have turned my eyes inward to my own sense of guidance which in the end left me more broken than whole. Nobody wants for the people around them to betray or wound them but it happens. Every day. I've been hurt this year. By people I love, people I thought I knew. Even the people closest to me have shot me with hurtful words and I only fire back with arrows sharper than theirs. Just today in an argument, I responded to hurt by being quick to anger instead of understanding, building up my personal walls higher and higher until I was safe in their shadows.
We are NOT strong enough on our own to navigate this complicated web that the world creates for us. We need to God to show us that a life lived with an open heart is the only way He can truly use us.
It's time to finally realize that not loving and knowing ourselves can be the stem of a problem. How can we truly love another person when you can't even muster the strength to love yourself? We need to stop holding back in our lives. We need to break down our tough facades of the people around us and truly get to know people.
In your life He has most likely given you at least one person in your life to trust and share your heart with completely and fully. If there isn't one now, I encourage you to pray for one. It could be a parent, best friend, a leader in your life or more importantly, God, who is with you in whatever season of life you may find yourself in. He is the one who resides in the depths of our hearts and sometimes we have to open ourselves up to seek and to find His love.
Only in opening up to another will we ever find freedom from our darkness. Letting others see the broken cracks is how we'll discover God and find a way to a fuller life in Him. We NEED to believe that God loves us enough to show us that a life of truth and love is the way (John 14:6). This body we're in is merely a physical shell holding us to this Earth and when we dig deeper into ourselves, you may find that those meticulously crafted walls around your heart will come tumbling down.
"Open your heart to live beyond the shell that keeps you here..." -Revive
Today, I began to think in church today. "Amazing Grace" came on and immediately I became lost in the music.
"My chains are gone, I've been set free..."
It pierced the center of my heart realizing what I did at that moment. I began to think about how I had felt in my life for so long. Chained to the demons in my heart which seemed to crush my confidence in God and in myself.
I began to wonder what the difference was between guarding your heart from the things of this world which threaten us daily and completely putting up a solid wall to keep people and God out. I know that for some time now, I've been living with a nice thick and sometimes unpenetrable wall. Bitter, angry, upset with myself that I couldn't express the emotions swirling around in my soul.
This particular verse above brings to mind the idea that protecting your heart will always lead to good things...Though I do agree with this verse, it can be a hard thing to truly grasp. How do we protect this priceless, valuable heart that we've been given? Choosing our friends wiser? Not entering into serious relationships too young? Not watching unrealistic romantic movies paint a fairytale?
No. I think protecting your heart stems from your personal relationship with God. He resides within each of us, his angels guiding and protecting us from evil. Psalm 34:7 says, "The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him and delivers him."
In truth, my life has been defined by guarding myself and protecting myself from hurt. Instead of relying solely on Him, I have turned my eyes inward to my own sense of guidance which in the end left me more broken than whole. Nobody wants for the people around them to betray or wound them but it happens. Every day. I've been hurt this year. By people I love, people I thought I knew. Even the people closest to me have shot me with hurtful words and I only fire back with arrows sharper than theirs. Just today in an argument, I responded to hurt by being quick to anger instead of understanding, building up my personal walls higher and higher until I was safe in their shadows.
We are NOT strong enough on our own to navigate this complicated web that the world creates for us. We need to God to show us that a life lived with an open heart is the only way He can truly use us.
It's time to finally realize that not loving and knowing ourselves can be the stem of a problem. How can we truly love another person when you can't even muster the strength to love yourself? We need to stop holding back in our lives. We need to break down our tough facades of the people around us and truly get to know people.
In your life He has most likely given you at least one person in your life to trust and share your heart with completely and fully. If there isn't one now, I encourage you to pray for one. It could be a parent, best friend, a leader in your life or more importantly, God, who is with you in whatever season of life you may find yourself in. He is the one who resides in the depths of our hearts and sometimes we have to open ourselves up to seek and to find His love.
Only in opening up to another will we ever find freedom from our darkness. Letting others see the broken cracks is how we'll discover God and find a way to a fuller life in Him. We NEED to believe that God loves us enough to show us that a life of truth and love is the way (John 14:6). This body we're in is merely a physical shell holding us to this Earth and when we dig deeper into ourselves, you may find that those meticulously crafted walls around your heart will come tumbling down.
"Open your heart to live beyond the shell that keeps you here..." -Revive
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Shadows truths
"My vision is blurred but I know what I heard echoing all around me..." -Brooke Fraser
I've found that in the last four years of highschool, I have been dancing in the shadows. Living in them. Soaking them up. Pretty much lovingg these shadows on the wall.
Before we begin, let's do a quick flashback. 1st period. 8 AM. Senior year.
I was sitting there in Mr. Zapler's philosophy class Issues and Answers and today was the day when we were to begin Plato's "Allegory of the Cave". Sitting in the first row dead center, completely exhausted and kind of hating that I even had to be there, I had already shut my mind off to good old Plato.
After reading the story a few times, I ticked off the minutes until I would be free. We were 'supposed' to go home and journal about the story...but I didn't. Whoops. The next day we began covering the themes of the story and I was a bit in the dark about what people were even talking about. 2 minutes in I was shocked. There were prisoners living inside of a dark cave who had based their entire existence on the shadows dancing on the walls in front of them because of the chains on them. One of them was set free and the truth of the light came upon him with a mission to tell the others. Rejecting the truth, they killed the prisoner and returned to their miserable existence in the shadows.
The underlying theme of the entire story was God-related!! Where was I when this happened?! This story was a sad reflection of what my life had become. We began a debate in this classroom that I will never forget starting off with a very difficult question. What are shadows of the truth in your life? In other words, what are you seeking after and following that in the end leaves you coming up empty?
That boy or girl you were convinced in high school was "The One". Forever. Those perfect grades you believed would lead you to every dream you've sought after. That feeling of acceptance from everyone around you. That impossibly perfect image of yourself that you nearly broke yourself for only to discover that its a waste of your precious time. The sad truth about all of this is simple. This was me last year.
I became a true Christian about a year ago when I got baptized and yet I still chose to live in the lies that had been fed to me in highschool about what my life should be about. Grades, getting into the best college, the perfect body, peer acceptance at school and church. In reality, I should have never been looking to anything or anyone else but God to fill me up when I was reaching for answer. I had been personally shown the light and yet for so long I chose to return to my old selfish patterns and way of thinking.
If you've stepped out into the light, chances are you'll be able to see right through the shadows in your own life. The light of the fire IS the sun and that is God. As we continue on in this journey, living and breathing solely for these lies, our lives will never become what they COULD be.
Embrace His light and I promise you your life will never be what it once was. You'll be living for something so much greater than shadows cast on the side of a cave; the beauty of God.
"It's easier to stay but I've heard rumours of true reality whispers of a well-lit way."-Brooke Fraser
I've found that in the last four years of highschool, I have been dancing in the shadows. Living in them. Soaking them up. Pretty much lovingg these shadows on the wall.
Before we begin, let's do a quick flashback. 1st period. 8 AM. Senior year.
I was sitting there in Mr. Zapler's philosophy class Issues and Answers and today was the day when we were to begin Plato's "Allegory of the Cave". Sitting in the first row dead center, completely exhausted and kind of hating that I even had to be there, I had already shut my mind off to good old Plato.
After reading the story a few times, I ticked off the minutes until I would be free. We were 'supposed' to go home and journal about the story...but I didn't. Whoops. The next day we began covering the themes of the story and I was a bit in the dark about what people were even talking about. 2 minutes in I was shocked. There were prisoners living inside of a dark cave who had based their entire existence on the shadows dancing on the walls in front of them because of the chains on them. One of them was set free and the truth of the light came upon him with a mission to tell the others. Rejecting the truth, they killed the prisoner and returned to their miserable existence in the shadows.
The underlying theme of the entire story was God-related!! Where was I when this happened?! This story was a sad reflection of what my life had become. We began a debate in this classroom that I will never forget starting off with a very difficult question. What are shadows of the truth in your life? In other words, what are you seeking after and following that in the end leaves you coming up empty?
That boy or girl you were convinced in high school was "The One". Forever. Those perfect grades you believed would lead you to every dream you've sought after. That feeling of acceptance from everyone around you. That impossibly perfect image of yourself that you nearly broke yourself for only to discover that its a waste of your precious time. The sad truth about all of this is simple. This was me last year.
I became a true Christian about a year ago when I got baptized and yet I still chose to live in the lies that had been fed to me in highschool about what my life should be about. Grades, getting into the best college, the perfect body, peer acceptance at school and church. In reality, I should have never been looking to anything or anyone else but God to fill me up when I was reaching for answer. I had been personally shown the light and yet for so long I chose to return to my old selfish patterns and way of thinking.
If you've stepped out into the light, chances are you'll be able to see right through the shadows in your own life. The light of the fire IS the sun and that is God. As we continue on in this journey, living and breathing solely for these lies, our lives will never become what they COULD be.
Embrace His light and I promise you your life will never be what it once was. You'll be living for something so much greater than shadows cast on the side of a cave; the beauty of God.
"It's easier to stay but I've heard rumours of true reality whispers of a well-lit way."-Brooke Fraser
Dog walks and clouds
"I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You're beautiful"-Phil Wickam
Tonight was a beautiful night.
Just like this song, I found myself standing amazed at God's creation and it got me wondering if we do that enough.
Have you ever stopped and just looked at the sky? Just paused and really soaked it all in? My friends make fun of me all the time for this but I am simply in love with everything about the sky. To be honest, I won't be surprised if one day in my life I am driving and I get in a car accident because I'm looking at the sky. That's how deep my fascination runs.
Tonight, I chose to take the two dogs my family is watching to the glen around the lake and I was so taken with what I was seeing because I felt like I was seeing it through new eyes.
Psalm 23:2 says, "...He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul."
It'd be very easy for me to recite this passage and fully believe in it for a few reasons...
A. it's a perfect summer night
B. i'm not stressed out or busy
C. life is at a much better point than a few weeks ago
Life will never be perfect. Never. As a self-professed perfectionist I need to drill this into my mind every single day probably up until the day I leave this Earth. But I'm beginning to see that unless we immerse ourselves in the beauty around us completely, we'll never fully experience God and His grace in our lives. Something as simple as the sky we see day after day can be exactly what we need to open our hearts to His voice.
All it takes is looking up.
Psalm 19:1
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You're beautiful"-Phil Wickam
Tonight was a beautiful night.
Just like this song, I found myself standing amazed at God's creation and it got me wondering if we do that enough.
Have you ever stopped and just looked at the sky? Just paused and really soaked it all in? My friends make fun of me all the time for this but I am simply in love with everything about the sky. To be honest, I won't be surprised if one day in my life I am driving and I get in a car accident because I'm looking at the sky. That's how deep my fascination runs.
Tonight, I chose to take the two dogs my family is watching to the glen around the lake and I was so taken with what I was seeing because I felt like I was seeing it through new eyes.
Psalm 23:2 says, "...He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul."
It'd be very easy for me to recite this passage and fully believe in it for a few reasons...
A. it's a perfect summer night
B. i'm not stressed out or busy
C. life is at a much better point than a few weeks ago
Life will never be perfect. Never. As a self-professed perfectionist I need to drill this into my mind every single day probably up until the day I leave this Earth. But I'm beginning to see that unless we immerse ourselves in the beauty around us completely, we'll never fully experience God and His grace in our lives. Something as simple as the sky we see day after day can be exactly what we need to open our hearts to His voice.
All it takes is looking up.
Psalm 19:1
Friday, July 22, 2011
Bright lights Part II.
In all honesty, three days ago was the first time in a long time that I prayed for God to show me He's listening. And it's so cool to say this....but HE HAS! AHH! *high pitched girl scream*.
Praying for a miracle from God hasn't been something I am accustomed to doing...why would God want to show up in my life anyways? It's not like I'm some rockstar Christian. But today I decided to seek God...but not in the half-hearted way I have fallen into, but with all of my heart. Setting out for Panera with my SOAP journal, bible and pen in hand, I felt a sense of determination for the first time in a long time. I felt a passion for life that I had forgotten for so long and sitting there with my coffee, I prayed for God to speak. I chose a chapter from Matthew (one of my all time favorite books of the Bible) as a starting point because I felt strangely drawn to it. Sifting through those chapters, I heard exactly what I needed to about certain areas of my life I needed to change and I quickly decided to make a trip over to Techny Towers.
Lemme tell ya if you've never been there, YOU SHOULD GO. I'd been meaning to go there for over a year but the excuses of a busy high school life kept me away...even though it was a mere 5 minutes away from Willow Creek. To be honest, I think I was afraid to go on my own. As you'll learn, fear sometimes paralyzes my life and dictates my decisions on a daily basis. I have no reason to be afraid...it's not like its a haunted chapel with ghosts of all the saints past floating around!
So as I was walking into this chapel, a statue of Jesus being taken off the cross struck me and I stopped. Mary was standing behind him, holding him from falling. And as I stood there, I prayed. I prayed for God to show me that He was there, that he hadn't given up on someone who really had fallen away and lost hope in herself. I walked into the chapel (which is pretty darn huuuge) and stepped into the silence. I chose a random row seven from the back and settled into the pew. After saying a prayer, I got my journal out and as I was in the process I happened to glance to my left where I was met with the eyes of a giant statue of....wait for it....MATTHEW. Umm what?!? I sat there in disbelief as I realized that God had sent me a sign of hope. He had me sit in the one specific aisle to the left of about fifty other rows where my favorite disciple of Jesus stood as a statue on the wall about 2.5 minutes after I had asked for a sign...Talk about timing!!!
Leaving that place, I felt a sense of peace deep down to my core. I had a hope rising up inside of me that was blocking out my usual way of thinking. Why had I chosen for so long to stumble along all on my own when God was standing beside me, waiting for me to simply turn around?
Later on that night after driving home from a lovely fro-yo experience at this place "swirl-cup" (highlyy reccomended), I was talking with one of my best and most trusted friends about the mysteries of life when someone flashed their brights at me. Hey, why you flashin' your brights at me buddy!? I continued in the conversation only to find yet another driver flash their brights at me....this time five more times. My brights were SOOO not on.
Okay, so they were definitely ON. For the past two months and I had been completely oblivious to it. And as my friend left the car and went onside I realized the correlation between what had happened and what God was trying to make me see. God had always been there for me. Giving me signs, opportunities, placing people in my life and I failed to see every single one. Being so accustomed to a certain degree of light, I never knew that I had been in the wrong. Impressively stubborn in my ways, set in my worldly patterns of living that I had failed to notice God screaming at me that I AM loved, I am worthy, I am not defined by the image I hold in my head of myself and most importantly, other people are NOT the ones who define me at the end of the day. God is.
"Change beings within" is a quote I have decided to store for my future. It's up to you whether your tomorrow will be one filled with His light or your own personal darkness. Allowing God to shine into the deepest corners of your heart means a renewal of your mind and your spirit. It's up to you and you alone whether you decide to ask for heaven's doors to be opened and His light to shine on you.
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." -Matthew 7:7
Praying for a miracle from God hasn't been something I am accustomed to doing...why would God want to show up in my life anyways? It's not like I'm some rockstar Christian. But today I decided to seek God...but not in the half-hearted way I have fallen into, but with all of my heart. Setting out for Panera with my SOAP journal, bible and pen in hand, I felt a sense of determination for the first time in a long time. I felt a passion for life that I had forgotten for so long and sitting there with my coffee, I prayed for God to speak. I chose a chapter from Matthew (one of my all time favorite books of the Bible) as a starting point because I felt strangely drawn to it. Sifting through those chapters, I heard exactly what I needed to about certain areas of my life I needed to change and I quickly decided to make a trip over to Techny Towers.
Lemme tell ya if you've never been there, YOU SHOULD GO. I'd been meaning to go there for over a year but the excuses of a busy high school life kept me away...even though it was a mere 5 minutes away from Willow Creek. To be honest, I think I was afraid to go on my own. As you'll learn, fear sometimes paralyzes my life and dictates my decisions on a daily basis. I have no reason to be afraid...it's not like its a haunted chapel with ghosts of all the saints past floating around!
So as I was walking into this chapel, a statue of Jesus being taken off the cross struck me and I stopped. Mary was standing behind him, holding him from falling. And as I stood there, I prayed. I prayed for God to show me that He was there, that he hadn't given up on someone who really had fallen away and lost hope in herself. I walked into the chapel (which is pretty darn huuuge) and stepped into the silence. I chose a random row seven from the back and settled into the pew. After saying a prayer, I got my journal out and as I was in the process I happened to glance to my left where I was met with the eyes of a giant statue of....wait for it....MATTHEW. Umm what?!? I sat there in disbelief as I realized that God had sent me a sign of hope. He had me sit in the one specific aisle to the left of about fifty other rows where my favorite disciple of Jesus stood as a statue on the wall about 2.5 minutes after I had asked for a sign...Talk about timing!!!
Leaving that place, I felt a sense of peace deep down to my core. I had a hope rising up inside of me that was blocking out my usual way of thinking. Why had I chosen for so long to stumble along all on my own when God was standing beside me, waiting for me to simply turn around?
Later on that night after driving home from a lovely fro-yo experience at this place "swirl-cup" (highlyy reccomended), I was talking with one of my best and most trusted friends about the mysteries of life when someone flashed their brights at me. Hey, why you flashin' your brights at me buddy!? I continued in the conversation only to find yet another driver flash their brights at me....this time five more times. My brights were SOOO not on.
Okay, so they were definitely ON. For the past two months and I had been completely oblivious to it. And as my friend left the car and went onside I realized the correlation between what had happened and what God was trying to make me see. God had always been there for me. Giving me signs, opportunities, placing people in my life and I failed to see every single one. Being so accustomed to a certain degree of light, I never knew that I had been in the wrong. Impressively stubborn in my ways, set in my worldly patterns of living that I had failed to notice God screaming at me that I AM loved, I am worthy, I am not defined by the image I hold in my head of myself and most importantly, other people are NOT the ones who define me at the end of the day. God is.
"Change beings within" is a quote I have decided to store for my future. It's up to you whether your tomorrow will be one filled with His light or your own personal darkness. Allowing God to shine into the deepest corners of your heart means a renewal of your mind and your spirit. It's up to you and you alone whether you decide to ask for heaven's doors to be opened and His light to shine on you.
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." -Matthew 7:7
Bright lights Part I
Today was a funny day.
I don't know if you've ever felt God personally tap you on the shoulder and grab for your heart but today was THAT kind of day...
Bright lights, fro-yo, chapels, Jesus...Okay I'll take you back to the beginning.
The day began as any other, waking up painfully early (in my opinion) to go to work at the camp I work at around 7:02 A.M. Rolling over and smacking the alarm which blared some annoying pop song by Britney Spears, I woke up and stumbled out of my dark room. Yes this day appeared to be just like every other but that morning I felt different. I felt like God had put something on my heart that I couldn't run from anymore.
I'm not going to lie. I've been walking in the darkness for quite some time now. My heart hasn't been resting in the place it should have been. I was living in a dark place; selfish, insecure, bitter, and angry about how my life hadn't been panning out the way that I so deeply desired.
John 1:6-7 says, "If we have fellowship with him while we walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin."
I don't know about you but I don't want to live in darkness. I want to live my life in the light. Believing in God means following Him, trusting Him and loving with everything you have. Searching in the darkness isn't where you're going to find God.
He is the light. He is the lamp which stamps out the darkness running rampant in this world and leads us forward (Psalm 119:105). He is the love that is going to guide us out of this tunnel we may find ourselves in.
I don't know if you've ever felt God personally tap you on the shoulder and grab for your heart but today was THAT kind of day...
Bright lights, fro-yo, chapels, Jesus...Okay I'll take you back to the beginning.
The day began as any other, waking up painfully early (in my opinion) to go to work at the camp I work at around 7:02 A.M. Rolling over and smacking the alarm which blared some annoying pop song by Britney Spears, I woke up and stumbled out of my dark room. Yes this day appeared to be just like every other but that morning I felt different. I felt like God had put something on my heart that I couldn't run from anymore.
I'm not going to lie. I've been walking in the darkness for quite some time now. My heart hasn't been resting in the place it should have been. I was living in a dark place; selfish, insecure, bitter, and angry about how my life hadn't been panning out the way that I so deeply desired.
John 1:6-7 says, "If we have fellowship with him while we walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin."
I don't know about you but I don't want to live in darkness. I want to live my life in the light. Believing in God means following Him, trusting Him and loving with everything you have. Searching in the darkness isn't where you're going to find God.
He is the light. He is the lamp which stamps out the darkness running rampant in this world and leads us forward (Psalm 119:105). He is the love that is going to guide us out of this tunnel we may find ourselves in.
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