Unselfish surrender

I swung the door of my heart open to God today. What did I discover about myself?

SELFISH. SELFISH. SELFISH.

Yep. *All fingers point right at this girl*

A life fully devoted to Christ means giving up who you once were. Why is this SO HARD to do?? We have been taught in this generation to revolve our existence around ourselves and what would make us happier.  Unfortunately the Bible points to someone a tiny bit more worthy of our existence revolving.

John 3:30 says, "He must increase, and I must decrease."
Luke 9:23-25 says, "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me...For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?"
Phillipians 3:8 says, "What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ."

All these verses sound just fabulouss.  And I'm not saying they aren't great, but as Christians do we take enough time to truly understand them, practice them, live them out?  I sure feel like I don't a lot of the time.

We are called to lift up our lives to God so that He may use them in whatever way He sees fit...yet I continually find myself nearly wrestling with God to hold onto what I WANT to keep in my possession.  A handle on my issues with body-image, always getting my way, making time for ME and my glorious short-lived life on this Earth.

He has a perfect plan already made that transcends my own understanding of good and bad for my life...yet I still harbor fear that I'll end up rejected, alone, old and by myself? Sounds crazy, but that's how I think sometimes!!

I have seen glimpses very recently of the beautiful life I could potentially have if I let Him have me.  Not just a piece of me but totally surrendered and all IN...yet I keep pulling away, afraid to totally release everything I have for the One who deserves every last ounce of what I have to give and MORE.

Unselfish surrender is a choice we have to make EVERY SINGLE DAY. It isn't a choice we make once and get a "get out of jail free card".  It requires diligence and unwavoring strength.  Not the type of strength we get on our own but the kind that we recieve by peering into the heavens...

Driving along to work this morning, the sun was intense. Blinding. Super annoying.
I glanced up at the sky and was shocked by the black cloud that was hovering over the city of Glenview and the sky was about to split open. 

Having the sky obcession that I do...I noticed something beautiful.  Peaking out between the clouds were rays of light.  Rays of light reaching down from heaven.   Donning my glasses for a moment, the light seemed to disappear and the clouds returned.  Disappointed, I realized that this is a lot like our lives...being caught up in a wordly way of seeing things where dark clouds, negative thoughts and broken things dominate our minds and our hearts, the light becoming lost in the darkness of our souls.

God's perfect love heals our our shattered selfish dreams for this life and plants hope in our hearts.  He knows that we have selfish ambitions because that is the nature of who we have become, but that doesn't mean He accepts it as final.  His light reaches down to touch anyone who chooses to see it, and all we have to do is look outside of our car window to be reminded of that...black fake ray-bans in hand.

He offers us a new life, one where He is the focus and our identity is rooted in Him and His great love for us. 

We are God's beloved creation and He has revealed to us our mission in life to serve Him.

So WHAT are you going to do about it? Live a temporary easier life for YOU or for God who presents you with a holy invitation to a life of matchless beauty and hope? 

I know what I want to choose.

1 Peter 2:9 - "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."