Today, I began to think in church today. "Amazing Grace" came on and immediately I became lost in the music.
"My chains are gone, I've been set free..."
It pierced the center of my heart realizing what I did at that moment. I began to think about how I had felt in my life for so long. Chained to the demons in my heart which seemed to crush my confidence in God and in myself.
I began to wonder what the difference was between guarding your heart from the things of this world which threaten us daily and completely putting up a solid wall to keep people and God out. I know that for some time now, I've been living with a nice thick and sometimes unpenetrable wall. Bitter, angry, upset with myself that I couldn't express the emotions swirling around in my soul.
This particular verse above brings to mind the idea that protecting your heart will always lead to good things...Though I do agree with this verse, it can be a hard thing to truly grasp. How do we protect this priceless, valuable heart that we've been given? Choosing our friends wiser? Not entering into serious relationships too young? Not watching unrealistic romantic movies paint a fairytale?
No. I think protecting your heart stems from your personal relationship with God. He resides within each of us, his angels guiding and protecting us from evil. Psalm 34:7 says, "The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him and delivers him."
In truth, my life has been defined by guarding myself and protecting myself from hurt. Instead of relying solely on Him, I have turned my eyes inward to my own sense of guidance which in the end left me more broken than whole. Nobody wants for the people around them to betray or wound them but it happens. Every day. I've been hurt this year. By people I love, people I thought I knew. Even the people closest to me have shot me with hurtful words and I only fire back with arrows sharper than theirs. Just today in an argument, I responded to hurt by being quick to anger instead of understanding, building up my personal walls higher and higher until I was safe in their shadows.
We are NOT strong enough on our own to navigate this complicated web that the world creates for us. We need to God to show us that a life lived with an open heart is the only way He can truly use us.
It's time to finally realize that not loving and knowing ourselves can be the stem of a problem. How can we truly love another person when you can't even muster the strength to love yourself? We need to stop holding back in our lives. We need to break down our tough facades of the people around us and truly get to know people.
In your life He has most likely given you at least one person in your life to trust and share your heart with completely and fully. If there isn't one now, I encourage you to pray for one. It could be a parent, best friend, a leader in your life or more importantly, God, who is with you in whatever season of life you may find yourself in. He is the one who resides in the depths of our hearts and sometimes we have to open ourselves up to seek and to find His love.
Only in opening up to another will we ever find freedom from our darkness. Letting others see the broken cracks is how we'll discover God and find a way to a fuller life in Him. We NEED to believe that God loves us enough to show us that a life of truth and love is the way (John 14:6). This body we're in is merely a physical shell holding us to this Earth and when we dig deeper into ourselves, you may find that those meticulously crafted walls around your heart will come tumbling down.
"Open your heart to live beyond the shell that keeps you here..." -Revive
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