Fuel to my fire

".. My desire, is burning with the fire You sparked..If I didn't have Your hand if I couldn't look into Your eyes. Jesus if Your love's the fuel then I'm the desperate flame that's screaming out Your name..."


Be with them God, please be with them.  Watch over them, guide them, show them they're not alone.  Walk with them, love them, keep them from harm Lord. Please God, they don't see it yet.. 


I find this prayer a common one in my daily life as my path intersects with person after person who walk this life alone.


I find myself praying it over my friends, sometimes strangers, who are still simply going through the motions, unaware of the light peaking through the dark cover of this life.


My heart breaks as I see the underlying pain and how their hearts have accepted the ways of a broken society and made them their own.
My heart shudders to think of the things they have seen and cannot erase.
My heart aches when I think of the words and deeds that have wounded them emotionally.


My heart remembers the emptiness of that life.  I lived it.
In the darkest valley walking alone it was a life lived apart from Christ.  Unbearably empty, barren, and bearing no fruit, I walked a straight path into worldly pursuits.  I had no idea of the kind of life awaiting me when God took hold of my heart. I had no idea of the unexplainable hope and joy that fills my soul daily when I serve Him and that is why I press on.  So that others may find Him.


I imagine the situation reversed.
Someone watching me as I speak, taking in the hurt lying inside my eyes, whose heart breaks    with every step I have taken deeper into the darkness.  Someone who gently tries to lead me away from the pain and onto the path of beauty and promise waiting for me.


This is what I would pray for.
I would hope that someone walking with Christ would really see me, beyond the laughter and the jokes, much deeper than that. If I were struggling I would want genuine compassion, someone taking on the heart of Christ to find me in my pain, and to gently point me to the glorious plan I have been created for.  


Seeing so many souls blind to the light, I used to feel weary and broken down.  I believed that I couldn't possibly take on the weight of others' problems from those around me and that my back would break.  That was when I realized that relying on my power alone, I will come up short every time.  Giving freely of my heart and my life in the name of Christ is the only way to receive His blessings and to be filled up  so that I may pour more love into others.


"The more I give of myself, the more He fills me up.  The more I love, the more I love I have to give."[Katie Davis Kisses for Katie]


I began to realize something crucial that I had been missing.  I have been blessed so that I could spread the blessing in love.  I will not be emptied by giving of myself in this way because this is what I have been created for..to love.  As a follower of Christ, we are called to show people the way in love. We are called to love with all we have and to carry the burdens of one another as Jesus carries us.   


Galatians 6:1-2 says, "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently...Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."


It is a privilege to help another person because in doing so, you show them the love of God.  , The love of God is a gift that I don't intend to waste or hide. 


I know what so many people around me do not know even if they have grown up in a church. I know Jesus.
I have felt a love deeper and wider that transforms the life of a girl destined for destruction lifted up by a King out of the pits (Psalm 40:2).
I understand why I'm here and that my only purpose on this Earth is to bring a part of the Kingdom to this world. 


In every one of my friendships, relationships, classes, every day encounters, I've been called to stand up for Christ, to be an extension of His love wherever I go.  I have been blessed that in hearing of the Kingdom of God, the words fell on good soil.  I accepted His truth into my heart and a gate in my heart was opened for a reason. To receive and to shine the truth of Christ in this world and into the lives of every single person Jesus sets in my path.  This is my passion.


Matthew 13:11-13 says,
[To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. For to the one who has, more will be given, and he will have an abundance, but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. This is why I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand...But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear.]


This awakens my soul to carry the torch higher.  To love deeper and unconditionally so people can glimpse the heart of Christ working to bring them to hope.


Those who live in Christ love like this and hope like this. That is my mission.
I have found the Light. I have discovered the truth and His fire burns through my veins so deeply that nothing of this world can possibly erase a flame so bright. 

Reading "Kisses for Katie", Katie Davis explains the tremendous privilege of being an extension of Jesus despite her hardships and how He has the power to light up the world all on His own, but He decides to use us.

"Jesus can light up this entire nation and my flame can be a part of that.  I am blown away that my God, who could do it all by himself would choose to let little me be a part of it." 

-Katie Davis

It is such a privilege to be an instrument of His, despite the challenges or opposition we come across.  It is worth serving a King. Seeing the darkness at hand, my heart desires nothing more than to be a light for God. For every one of you who is reading this and those I have yet to meet, I live my life to reflect Him.


My flame burns for you so that you may see the depth of Christ and His unending, never ceasing love and desire to know you personally.


In a poem that I wrote for FYS class I wrote:

                                                   [The door of my soul swings open

I feel His burning fire

He directs me to shattered souls all around me

Embracing them, I run onward.

 Carrying the secret,

Illuminating the truth,

Moving through the thorns,

I run. 

Though many choose to stray

I will run to the light

No fear can steal the light from my eyes

now that You have come.]

This mission is serious 

              in a world coated in darkness and lies.

We must use the darkness we see on a daily basis to fuel the passion in our souls for God.  God is winning hearts every single day but He needs us to continue leading lives as examples for others.

With every expectation you see being blindly followed in this world, combat it with God's truth and follow Him as you take up the shield of faith [Ephesians 6:16].

With every cry of despair that echoes in this world, remind yourself of all that Jesus is doing in this world to bring back light [John 8:12].

With every person who stumbles, gently point them back to the path they're meant for. [Galatians 6:1]

[The path has already been prepared.  Follow Christ's lead and He will reveal to you where to go.] 

Mark 1:2 says, "Behold, I send my messenger before your face who will prepare your way."  

[You are no longer a servant of men but of Christ]

Galatians 1:10 says, "If I were still trying to please men, then I would not be a servant of Christ."

The light and good in this world can be increased by passionate souls willing to step into the darkness for Him.  Moving through the thorns we run with every last ounce of strength, passion, and vigor inside of us because we know the love of Christ.  

I won't stop loving, stop speaking truth & wisdom, stop trusting in Jesus, stop praising God because I have seen, I have felt, and I understand who He is and the depth of what that means.


"Your place in the world as God's heart for relationship is vital.  All the Enemy has to do to destroy peoples' lives is to get them isolated, a lamb separated from the flock.  To do this, he removes the ezers in their life...You have been sent on behalf of love, of relationships. Fight for them." -Captivating


I won't give up on those who have strayed from Him because not one single person is too far from redemptive love.  I love those that God sets in my path because God loved us first (1 John 4:19).  I won't give up on them because even in my darkness, Christ never once gave up on me.

The darkness, the pain, the suffering, the brokenness of our world, the unending mercy, abounding joy, reckless love; this is the truth of Christ in a dark world.  

           This is the reason for my desire to show love.  
                      This is the fuel to my fire. 

"I’m gonna sing it like it’s everything to me,
I’m gonna sing it like the deep calling out to deep
I’m gonna sing it like it’s all I’ve got
‘Cause all that I want is to sing for the love of God.."

"Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me." [Colossians 1:28-29]