-Worth Dying For
That was my life before Christ.
Every day motions, blinded by gray materialism, a slowed heart bored by the ordinary and chock full of colorless dreams.
Dreams of MY college, MY new friends, MY career for me, MY husband, MY comfort.
I didn't know what I was missing.
Glancing up, suddenly it had changed. It was different in every way.
The dream shifted and my eyes blinked to adjust to a whole new surrounding.
Blooming violets, blinding sun, and skies split open to make way for Heaven.
Amidst the beauty, I heard the anguish of pain splitting the air and I covered my ears.
Color had lit my soul. The blood of Christ revealed to me the brokenness of this place I called home.
I found myself in an aching world bigger than myself. Cities crying out for someone who would heal them and put an end to their pain.
For so long, I thought I wanted to only be surrounded by Christians.
Keep myself protected, keep my personal shield of faith rock solid. I reasoned that would help me grow.
How ignorant those thoughts were.
How selfish to think this.
How much I limited my power as a Christian to only be with those in my inner Christian circle.
2 Timothy 1:7 states this:
"For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline."
Undeniable, unfathomable, undying love that consumes our spirit from the inside out and brings us courage to be His love in this world.
He has given us Holy Spirit power to be His voice,
[Isaiah 61:1-2]
"The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound..."
the compassionate heart to extend our hand to gently calm the raging hearts in our paths,
[Matthew 9:36]
"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd."
the passionate drive to bring those who are lost back into His arms and through God's gates into an abundant and blessed life.
[Matthew 7:14]
"For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."
For so long, my faith was MINE.
I used to hide my faith.
I wasn't ashamed of it but I never wanted to make other people feel uncomfortable or to get made fun of.
Generally when I would come into contact with someone who was making certain choices, I would slowly back away and look for people more similar to myself because that was safe.
I'd give them advice but it'd make me uneasy to make people feel like they were in the wrong. In fear of rejection, I would simply listen because it's their "personal choice".
I would turn my eyes away from an opportunity God was giving to show them love and guidance because my faith was not something to share but merely a personal choice that only affected me and my heart.
Afraid of judgement, afraid of being hypocritical, afraid of coming off to strong. That was what drove me on.
What was I thinking? What a mistake!
We are called to look out for one another, to speak the truth in love no matter how challenging that may be.
Jesus calls us to reach out to the lonely, the broken, the hurting, those farthest from Him.
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Jesus was the most perfect being to walk this Earth and yet He bent down in the dirt to lift up the face of the leper, the prostitute. He wasn't afraid of being associated with those dwelling in the darkness because He knew God and the blessing of knowing Him. He knew that it was His duty to share it. A good of friend of mine at Hope has been a blaring reminder from God on this and as I write this that is my call as part of this life.
It's time for a change.
It's time to start reaching out to those who are walking in darkness to show them God's amazing and transformative light.
I was that girl who walked in darkness myself and knowing that pain reminds me how important it is to extend my hand to them.
Hearing a powerful sermon yesterday, I was reminded of a need to sacrifice yourself so that others may see and to grow more and more like Christ.
To change into being a person of sacrificial, unconditional love for all those around me in different seasons of life-including those who choose to drink, to slam down faith, to curse, to be materialistic, to be selfish, or unwise in their decisions.
I'm imperfect too.
It is not about me and how perfect I can try and be.
It's not about how comfortable I can make my life here on Earth but what Christ can do throughout my life to touch others.
It's not about accepting the brokenness of others as their final fate but embracing them where they're at to bring them to a place of clarity to see Christ
In my FYS class I wrote a poem on embracing those in their weakness where they're at.
The Light Has Come
Set Fire to My Heart
“…You are a letter from Christ…not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts” -2 Corinthians 3:3
He writes on my heart,
I scratch it out blindly.
“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."-Isaiah 30:21
He whispers the way of Love into my ears,
I drown it with static.
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” -1 Peter 5:7
He reaches down to take on my burdens and shame,
My back is against the wall.
“God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.”-1 John 1:5
Looking to the hills, my eyes are lit with the fire of the sun
and the Light of life has come.
I drop the dark veil from my eyes,
Waves crash against the shore,
He has come.
The door of my soul swings open
I feel His burning fire
He directs me to shattered souls all around me
Embracing them, I run onward.
Carrying the secret,
Illuminating the truth,
Moving through the thorns,
I run.
Though many choose to stray
I will run to the light
No fear can steal the light from my eyes
now that You have come.
Undeserving,
Unworthy,
Broken,
Yet I am Yours.
A servant for the Kingdom,
A daughter of the most high King,
A dreamer of love bigger than this world,
I am Yours alone.
Not for the works I will complete,
Not for the journey I will run,
Or the story I will tell,
But because of what You’ve done.
Out of the darkness,
I will carry Your banner high,
Fighting for You,
I will come out swinging.
Living out the love written on my heart,
Listening to the gentle whispers of Your truth,
I will take His beckoning hand
to lead me.
My heart is ablaze,
My eyes they shine,
The Light has come.
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I am done doubting God. He has shown His power. I know He has the power to reach those farthest from Him and transform a light of emptiness to a life of complete fulfillment in Christ because that is a piece of my own story.
I am through being selfish and bottling up my faith. It is far too precious to be wasted on only myself.
I don't want my faith to be something only shared with other Christians exactly like me where faith remains comfortable.
I want to step out into the open and have people see Christ in the way that I love them like He does with every moment, every word, every action.
It's time to start using the time we've been given to advance the kingdom of God.
Every single second ticks by and we are one step closer to the day where we will face Him.
Start building relationships outside of your tight knit group of friends to reach out to those who need a friend.
Evaluate the time you spend on the computer, watching television, watching movies, procrastinating...start intentionally living and putting every moment towards something so much bigger than yourself. Faith is what about the things you do not simply the words you say.
"In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."
[James 2:17]
I want to come to the edge of a mountain and take a leap of faith. I want to live a life that brings glory to God and fulfillment not only to me but others around me.
I don't want to be the Christian who professes her love for God and lets my empty words fall to the ground.
I want to be someone whose choices are intentional, whose dream are God-inspired.
I want to show others the miracle of God through my unrelenting love for God's children.
Not through shoving God in their face with an Evangelism brochure and dragging them along the roadside to go to church with me.
Being an insider in God's grace means knowing that God can reach people by showing them His heart through actions of your own.
By loving them unconditionally through their hardships, their trials, their sin, their malicious words, their mistakes.
After all, have you forgotten?
God loves us even when we reflect that ugliness.
I don't care how great of a Christian you think you are or how amazing everyone sees you as on the surface. Beneath that lies the sin: the desires, the selfish nature, the evil thoughts, the boastful pride, the jealousy, the doubting.
But with Christ we are covered and beautiful in God's sight.
We can be someone of character, integrity, dignity, purity, grace, compassion, and faith in the midst of the darkness.
We are all a people shattered by sin, even Christians.
I am someone constantly finding errors in myself. Selfishly side stepping someone in need because I'm "not in the mood", envying another, pridefully accepting compliments as my own and not in His name.
We are called to show others the grace we've received by compassionately loving and seeking the people around us with Jesus' eyes and heart.
We are His hands and feet in this world, and wearing the badge of Christ means making your life a mission to spread it in the everyday.
A famous quote reminds me of the reason why I run.
And this reason is because this life has a time span, it is not forever.
"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, to suck the marrow from the bones of life; to put to rout all that was not life, and not to come to the end of life, and discover that I had not lived.
- Henry David Thoreau
I have reached a point in my life where I am ready for change, for deliberate and passionate living. To live a life where people come to know God through knowing me.
This world is ready for change. It's awaiting the people that step outside of their selves to proclaim Christ and to boast in hope that awaits us beyond our final hour.
Many people do not know Christ and how shall they know if nobody raises their voice to tell them? May we raise our voices to sing of His great love in our lives so that they may see.
"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?"
[Romans 10:14]
Lord, I pray you would be our Light. Lead us away from a life of comfort zones. Don't allow us to settle for selfish living, but may your love move us to action for Your kingdom to bring others into a relationship with the God who heals and makes sense of us in all of our brokenness. As Christians, stir us to awaken others to your truth simply in the way we develop intentional relationships and go about our lives. Push us to set aside colorless dreams when You have shown us the way to fullness that You've hand-painted for each one of us.
Convict us of Your power to make change in ourselves as well as those stumbling.. Give us a heart for them.
In Your name, Amen.
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